Lots of people have compensated for the difficulties of monogamy by arranging open marriages, polyamorous relationships, swinging relationships or just having a secret affair.
No matter what your setup is, you might be ready to meet someone new on these dating sites for married but looking people.
You’re lucky because you live in an online world, where it’s possible to meet anyone you like, for whatever purposes you like.
The best part is that no one needs to know. These sites are discreet and some are anonymous.
Of course, it’s hard to stay anonymous if you decide to meet up with someone outside the internet. But online, it will be hard to trace your steps.
Although dating outside of marriage can be easy to think about, you might be asking yourself: how do I do it? If you’re a beginner at affairs, extramarital relationships, or easy, no strings attached sex, don’t worry.
We’ve got you covered with the best ways to access your next hot date from the comfort of your home.
So stop thinking about it, look at these websites, and leap. After all, you only live once, so why not use it to your advantage?
Take a walk on the wild side and check out the sexy new acquaintances you’ll make on these websites.
15 Best Dating and Affair Sites for Married People
Without further ado, let’s get down to it. You don’t want to read any more about dating while married in general. If you’ve made it this far, you’re ready to see the goods. Well, here are the fifteen best dating and affair sites for married (but looking) people.
Ashley Madison might be the original online affair site. Founded in 2002, this site started with the goal of helping out men and women in unhappy, loveless marriages. Since then, it’s become popular for its discretion and ability to provide you with matches in whatever city you’re in.
Some of the best features of Ashley Madison revolve around its privacy. While profile pictures are encouraged, you can use a blur or “mask” feature to make your picture less recognizable. As you match with people, you’re given the option to show them your true face.
Ashley Madison’s website and slogan (life is short, have an affair) might not be very subtle, but you can quickly hit a “panic” button on the website to take you to a generic site. This is great if you’re in public and someone you know walks in.
Overall, Ashley Madison is excellent if you’re simply ready to meet someone new. You can fill out your preferences (sexual or otherwise) and match up with some great people. Also, it’s free for women and there’s an overwhelming population of men. So if you’re a girl, you’ll probably have lots of options.
Pros & Cons
Pros
Free for women
Twenty years of experience
Discreet
The fastest way to find a secret relationship
Lots of extra features
Cons
An uneven split of men and women (which might be a positive, depending on your position)
Can get expensive for men
Some fake accounts
Pricing
Free for women. There’s a credit system for men, where you pay for 100 credits at a time ($49) and use them to send messages, virtual gifts, and match with profiles. These credits are endless, so men can use as many as they want (but they will have to keep paying).
Are you looking for something a little more raunchy? Stuck in a relationship where you can’t talk about or explore your kinks and want some x-rated fun? AdultFriendFinder might be the best option for casual hookups and any kind of swinging needs.
With the largest membership of any online sex community, AdultFriendFinder is great if you just want to get with someone without, you know, getting with them. You can find locals who just want to do you and leave, and this is ideal if you’re trying to have a one-off affair.
AdultFriendFinder is extremely open-minded and you can narrow it down to whatever your kinks or preferences are. Because of the millions of people on the site, you’ll be able to find someone willing to meet up, chat online, or have phone sex. Whatever turns you on goes on AdultFriendFinder.
There’s also a “Live Action” section where you can watch videos, see live models, and even watch couples in action. These people might not be available to meet up but you can watch them through your device. The major complaint about AFF is the number of ads and bots, even with a premium subscription. However, other than that, it’s all sex and no talk.
Pros & Cons
Pros
Sex-focused (just sex, no relationship necessary)
Live-action section
Has a phone app
Excellent customer service support
Huge member base (guaranteed to be people in your area)
While there is something to be said for the sex-heavy, free-for-all worlds of Ashley Madison and AdultFriendFinder, sometimes people in unfulfilled marriages want a real relationship. If you’re looking more for full compatibility and maybe even true love, EHarmony has a record of matching couples for life.
EHarmony is one of the most expensive dating sites available and will give you frustratingly little with a free account (Seriously. They won’t even let you see your matches). However, if you decide to pay for the full account, the site seems to stop at virtually nothing to find you your perfect physical, intellectual, and spiritual match.
The biggest pro of EHarmony is the intense matching system. When you sign up, prepare to fill out an in-depth profile on your likes, dislikes, interests, and what you’re looking for in a relationship. It will be worth it because you might just find your soulmate!
However, EHarmony wasn’t made to be discreet, because it wasn’t made for affairs. It holds the same risks you run if you sign up for any online dating app, so you might run into someone you know. It doesn’t look good for you if a friend of your husband finds your EHarmony profile.
So, sign up at your own risk, or create a false account at the risk of alienating your newfound friend. But, for matching with someone you might like AND be attracted to, EHarmony is unparalleled.
For some of you, Seeking might be the start of the content you were looking for. If you’re a beautiful woman stuck with a man who just isn’t your type, you might be looking to get a little more than sex out of a relationship. On the flip side, more established men might want someone beautiful in their arms. Seeking exists for people like you.
Originally, Seeking was purely a site for finding sugar daddies. Now, they’ve rebranded a bit and focused on finding someone to live your life with. However, the underlying strategy is still there. Seeking is trying to be a regular dating site, but it’s not great if you’re not aiming to be a sugar daddy or baby.
You have to pay a little more for this site, especially if you want to get the background check done and be verified. On the flip side, anyone who’s been verified has paid to have a background check done and can be trusted! If you’re worried about your online safety, this is an excellent site.
Again, it’s not specifically for affairs and extramarital dating, so you might get some judgment if you tell your matches. However, many people aren’t as picky and will be just fine as long as they think you’re hot. And for this site, you should either be hot, rich, or both, because it’ll be tough for you otherwise.
Pros & Cons
Pros
Great background checks
Active community
Beautiful and rich (and often both) people
Great for finding established people to rely on financially
Extremely safe
Free for women
Cons
Some bots/some scammers
Can be expensive
You have to pay for a background check to become verified
Not anonymous, although it’s harder to look up profiles
Pricing
First of all, there is a $50 fee if you want to get a background check. This is necessary to become verified and more trustable on the website (especially if you look like a model or are an older man). Otherwise, here are the pricing options:
Speaking of being hot or rich, Millionaire Match makes no bones about what it’s up to. If you know what you want (and it’s money) then go get it. Millionaire Match is an incredibly exclusive matchmaking site, focused on creating matches between beautiful and rich people.
If you’re looking for a casual fling with a millionaire, this probably isn’t the place to do it. Millionaire Match works a little like EHarmony, so the company is focused on finding long-term, lasting relationships for its clients.
However, their requirements are no joke: to sign up as a “successful single,” you need to be making at least $200,000 a year. Certified millionaires (those who send in their bank statements to the company for verification) have diamond status and are HIGHLY sought after on the site. Even a moderately successful person can make it if they’re willing to open their wallets.
The other option for signing up is “attractive singles.” This is a little harder to gauge, so if you make less than $200,000 a year and think you’re hot enough, go for it!
However, it’s good to know that this site isn’t geared for sugar baby/daddy arrangements. It was created for millionaires and those in higher tax brackets to legitimately find love. After all, money can’t buy you everything, but it can buy you an online dating subscription.
We’ve gone through a few sites that are somewhat dedicated to the rich and beautiful. However, if you are unashamedly trying to find a sugar daddy or sugar momma to help you financially and sexually, then Rich Meet Beautiful is the site for you.
While some of these sites have tried to move away from the sugar baby mentality, this one meets it head-on. For the most part, of course, this site hosts older rich men and younger, hot-but-poor women. You’ll see some role reversal occasionally, but not a whole ton. So if you’re a rich dude or a hot girl, you’ll have great success on Rich Meet Beautiful.
Rich Meet Beautiful is a relatively new site but has grown in popularity in the past five years. This is because the team works to vet every single incoming profile, making sure that the sugar daddies are sugar daddies, the beauties are for real, and no one is a bot.
While this site isn’t anonymous, its relatively small customer clientele will likely prevent you from being found out. It works worldwide but is most popular in Europe, so you might have issues finding local friends with (rich) benefits if you live in America.
Okay, we get it. There are so many “rich and beautiful” dating sites on here, how is this one any different? Well, as nice as money is, it’s not everything. If you want the total package, Elite Meets Beauty is where you find it.
Elite Meets Beauty isn’t just about riches; it’s about being truly elite. The people on this app are looking for intelligent and rich dates, not just sugar daddies or mommas. While you can unlock a sugar daddy with this app, it’s mostly people looking for relationships with sex and conversation. You need to be able to talk as well as you kiss for this to work out.
If you don’t want a simple one-night-stand with a millionaire, but instead want to discuss the arts and philosophy, this is your place. Meet your person with a personality, a great body, and an amazing mind (and let’s not forget the full wallet).
Unfortunately, this app isn’t nearly as popular as the others, so the user base is smaller. While this can make it difficult to find someone in your area, it does mean that the people on the app are seriously looking for a relationship with someone intelligent. All you need to sign up are two out of the following three: wealth, intelligence, and beauty.
Are you ready for something new but don’t know what? Scared of setting up a profile and reaching out to people online? If you don’t want to decide for yourself, sign up for Tawkify. You’ll put your romantic fate into the hands of professional matchmakers, who will set you up with a blind date based on your interest.
Tawkify is great because they ask you tons of questions about yourself, including your relationship status. You’re going on a date with someone who might be in a similar situation – married but looking for some extra fun.
You can put all of your preferences on your profile, from sexual to what movies you like. The dates are vetted and completely safe, so it’s much less scary than meeting someone random off the internet and hoping they’re not a serial killer. Overall, Tawkify is incredible for someone with a bit of money to spend and a preference for a concierge service.
While this app isn’t great for control freaks or those who like to have a hand in their fate, it’s awesome if you just want to try something new without having to swipe left or right on any dating apps. Let the professionals match you up; they will do it discreetly and with style.
Pros & Cons
Pros
Super safe
No work for you
Great results
High odds of a good date
Discreet
Cons
Expensive
The service takes a while to set you up with a date
Very little control on your end
Pricing
Membership is $99 a year, but dates aren’t guaranteed
Premium membership guarantees you one curated date a month, costing about $500 a month
Ladies, are you looking for an upgrade to your current man? I mean, someone who will run after you and try to woo you (or bed you)? If you want to be on a site where women are dominant instead of passive, check out Gleeden. It’s a great site for girls because it’s free!
Gleeden was created for and is run by women. The men who sign up are vetted and have to pay to message you. This means that they’ll think twice before messaging you and only send serious inquiries. You have all the power here, so use it wisely.
The downside of this site is that there are a lot more women than men (maybe this is because it’s run by women, maybe not). You might be waiting a while before someone reaches out.
However, Gleeden is discreet and perfect if you’re trying to set up an affair without being found out. Your profile is safe, and the guys are vetted, so you’re good to go. Find some good sex and do it safely with Gleeden.
Pros & Cons
Pros
Free for women
Completely safe and private
Lots of detail in profiles (but not the personal kind)
Awesome for women looking to be discreet and sought after
If you’re having an affair, your time is valuable. Honestly, even if you’re not having an affair, your time is valuable. In any case, if you’re looking for some sort of compensation for a date (that doesn’t necessarily involve a sugar daddy or momma), you might want to consider charging a price for your date.
No, it’s not the same thing as an escort. There’s no set price on the date and you’re not obligated to go with whoever pays it. Instead, it’s an auction-based system, where you choose the most generous bidder (or the one whose face you like the most) and go out with them. It’s a way for men to show how seriously interested they are in the date.
It does go both ways and sometimes men are “up for auction” while women bid. However, the majority of the site involves generous men offering to take gorgeous women out on dates. Think you belong in one of these categories? Sign up and see how much money you can make while having a hot date.
Pros & Cons
Pros
No subscription fee
Make money while you date!
Lots of very attractive people
Easy to use!
Cons
Relatively new site and concept
Usually one-sided (not a lot of Generous females)
Not anonymous
Expensive if you’re a guy
Pricing
No subscription fee
Credit system for messaging: $50 for 100 credits
If you buy 1,000 credits, you get a premium “Meet Beautiful People” guarantee
We know that a lot of you are here because you’re not getting enough sex at home. You’ve got to find sex somewhere, and No Strings Attached is a great way to find it. It’s discreet and used for cheating or one-night stands. Generally, no one cares what your relationship status is when you meet up.
No Strings Attached features webcam dating and real-life meetups, so you can be as casual or as serious as you want. You can use it to watch models strut their stuff, meet other people looking for sex, or just chat with people online. If sexts are your thing, here’s a great place to do it.
One of the best features of No Strings Attached is that, unlike many other dating apps, this one has plenty of free features. You can use most of them without upgrading your plan, so if you want to try it out before committing, all you need to do is sign up.
However, like most things in life, there’s a downside to this. The free site means that there’s not as much vetting for bots or nasty people. The webcam shows and live streams are mostly of women, and some of the comments can get pretty rough. However, if you stick with chatting and ignore the bots, you will find a hot hookup online or near you.
Pros
Pros
The free option isn’t awful
Chatting and video sex
Casual sex without strings attached
Discreet and anonymous
Cons
Not as vetted
Lots of bots
Unevenly split between men and women
Pricing
Free version
Highlights: $10 for one month, $24 for three months
Open the Door: $20 for one month, $36 for three months
Victoria Milan is like a new and updated version of Ashley Madison. It’s not as well-known or bug-free yet, but it’s up-and-coming and we can’t wait to see where it goes. This site was designed for women who aren’t happy in their relationship but don’t see a way to leave it. Want a discreet affair? Sign up for Victoria Milan.
Victoria Milan is like Victoria really does have a secret – and the secret is you. The app focuses on keeping you entirely discrete, from blurred-out profile pictures to credit bills that look like a restaurant on your bank statement. Your spouse will have no idea you are on Victoria Milan unless you are dumb and tell them.
You can match up with others in relationships in town or across the world. These flings are just that: simple, sex-only flings. If you want to make that person a continued friend-with-benefits, you’ll have to do that outside the app. It’s a great way to cheat without getting caught.
Everything on your profile can be blanked out, from your interests to your profile picture. Interested parties will have to ask to get information out of you, and this is great if you want to stay anonymous. You can chat on the app and meet up in person with Victoria Milan.
If you are struggling in your marriage and want to vent your feelings, find someone to have sex with, and think over the whole situation at once, Reddit’s r/Adultery has all of your answers. As usual, Reddit is a grab bag, so prepare for a mix of things. However, if you want somewhere safe and anonymous to start, this is the place.
The r/Adultery has a very specific tag for a reason: it discusses all things adultery. From guilty affairs to the total freedom of a good hookup, this tag is free to follow and read posts. You can find people to talk to or smash, depending on what you need.
This tag is completely anonymous, but if you post lots of details, someone might figure out who you are. Of course, you also run into the possibility that your spouse is doing the same thing, and you’ll agree to cheat on your wife with…your wife (some classic Pina Colada action).
You can move from public posts to private messages, exchange pictures, and meet in person. It’s usually better in big cities, but you run a pretty good chance anywhere. Reddit is widely used and a huge anonymous social media site.
Similar to r/Adultery, r/Affairs is also anonymous and a great online forum for finding booty calls in your area. Unlike r/Adultery, this tag is marked NSFW, and you aren’t allowed to enter it unless you’re over 18.
r/Affairs has one purpose: to lay and be laid. Posters include their age, gender, location, and what they’re looking for in the title of their post, so you can narrow it down by location and your desires.
If you’re brave, you can post your own specific needs and wants. Be prepared though: this is the internet and the most unfiltered part. You might not love some of the responses you get (although many can be wholesome and encouraging as well as sexy). Reddit bots rarely remove a poster or commenter unless it’s clearly a bot.
This is an ideal site if you want to see who’s available, are traveling to a big city for a weekend, or are ready to branch out and try someone new in the area. You might even get suggestions for other apps and things to try.
Pros & Cons
Pros
Free
You can post and respond to posts
Local and anonymous
Dedicated to cheating
Cons
If no one responds, you might not have a hookup that day
Okay, so you might be a little overwhelmed by all of these options for sexy times near and far away. Well, let’s get back to the absolute basics. How did people have affairs (that weren’t with their secretary) before the internet? They met up after seeing each other in public and did it illicitly in hotel rooms.
For our last option, we’re going back to the days of newspapers and classified ads. They were local and anonymous, and you could respond to them for a meetup. That’s what Craigslist Missed Connections or Activities pages do. On these pages on Craigslist, you can post anonymously and find out who’s in the area waiting for you.
Craigslist Missed Connections is a page dedicated to just that: missed connections. Saw a hot girl in a coffee shop, but you were too shy to approach her? Bumped into a guy in the school library but got too flustered to introduce yourself? Put up a missed connections post, and who knows! They might find it and respond.
You can also make a post for something that you need. From a babysitter to an adulterous partner, Craigslist is here for you. Post that you need to have an illicit affair (make sure to post some gender and age guidelines, or anyone could show up), and you might be able to find a hot, available sex partner who’s been near you all along.
Pros & Cons
Pros
Can be anonymous or not, depending on your needs
Super local
You can arrange meetups, just like how the classifieds used to be
If you’ve reached the end of this list and are still curious about the ins and outs of having an affair (well, not THOSE ins and outs. We trust you know how those work), here are some frequently asked questions. Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered when it comes to anonymity and getting away with it.
Are affair sites safe to use?
While the internet is full of sketchy places and spots to get your information stolen, many affair sites are legitimate and safe. You might have to pay for a service or be anonymous, but you won’t have to worry about getting your data leaked to everyone you know.
Always read reviews on a site before signing up (good job on reading this list today). Never put your social security number, bank account, or other highly personal information into a form website. If it’s vetted and official, you’ll be able to tell by the website’s standing and reviews.
Are affair sites anonymous?
There’s a reason why these sites are more popular for affairs than dating sites like Tinder or Bumble. You might match with someone you know, an old friend, or (the worst) a friend of your spouse’s. Anonymity is essential, which is why several of these sites value privacy highly.
The complete anonymity of a site depends on the website’s policies. However, you can help by not putting your full name or address on the website. Always read up on a service before applying and logging in, and it might be helpful to date outside of your city.
How do I avoid getting caught using an affair website?
If you don’t want to get caught, you’ll have to take a few extra steps when setting up and accessing your account. An affair can explode a marriage, and you don’t want to get in trouble with your current spouse.
So be smart, be safe, and don’t do anything that would make your affair obvious. Here are three essential steps you can take on and off the internet to ensure that your current spouse doesn’t find out about your little fling.
1. Always use your own device
The first and most crucial step is to keep your websites isolated. If you have a phone, tablet, or computer that your spouse can’t access, use that instead of the family laptop or shared iPad. Make sure it has a password on it that only you know and that there would be no reason for them to find it unattended.
Here’s where being smart comes in: don’t use your work computer. That might seem like a great idea since the wife never gets on it, but you might have to turn it in, and we all know that Sharon in PR is nosy. Use your computer that NO ONE else will use.
2. Set up a fake email
Again, it goes without saying that you shouldn’t use your work email. People monitor that! So be smart and set up a free email account with non-identifying credentials (not [email protected], if you know what I mean). Use that email instead of your personal one to set up all your accounts.
3. Browse cautiously
Be extra cautious and use discreet browsing. Most browsers have a “private browsing” or “incognito” mode that doesn’t track your history. That way, if your spouse does end up on your personal computer for some reason, your cheating sites won’t pop up the minute she starts typing.
Are affair sites free to use?
Some affair sites are free to use, but most are not. They are like dating apps and sites and require a certain amount of membership to access their profile matching. You also might pay for services like anonymity, so keep that in mind.
Several sites are free but might not be as anonymous. It depends on what you are willing to pay and the level of profile matching you want. We have some free options on this list as well as paid options!
Lauren Cook-McKay is the Vice President of Marketing at DivorceAnswers.com. She holds a Master’s Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy (MFT) from the University of San Diego and applies her training in private practice to helping couples struggling in their marriage. She believes there is hope in all marriages and strives to provide therapy to couples that will lead them back towards a loving marriage, or an amicable divorce that brings peace and closure.
