{"id":3417,"date":"2022-05-14T17:05:53","date_gmt":"2022-05-14T21:05:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/?p=3417"},"modified":"2022-07-28T10:21:54","modified_gmt":"2022-07-28T15:21:54","slug":"hardest-years-of-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/hardest-years-of-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"What Are The Hardest Years Of Marriage?\u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Most newlyweds get caught up in the excitement of weddings and honeymoons. They think marriage is all sunshine and roses. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When in the honeymoon stage, it\u2019s hard to imagine there\u2019ll be problems in your marriage. But after the honeymoon, reality sets in, and you might start experiencing several challenges.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While every couple is unique, there\u2019s a general belief that some marriage years are more complex than others. Knowing these tough years can help you navigate every challenge that comes your way together. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what are the hardest years of marriage? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The First Year<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

I know, why would you even marry if the first year is going to be nightmare-ish. However, the first year of marriage involves knowing and acclimatizing to each other. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re moving in with a new person to spend the rest of your lives together. This is when you\u2019re trying to adjust to each other\u2019s lifestyle while keeping your love strong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When living alone, it was easy to live according to your means. You didn\u2019t worry much about spending money, household chores, and limited space. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

After getting married, you realize several changes you need to adjust to. First, your partner needs your attention more often, and you have to make most decisions together. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Usually, newlyweds find it challenging to adapt to married life. Some of the difficulties they encounter include:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Handling Finances<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Finances can pose a significant challenge to couples in their first year of marriage. If you\u2019re not financially stable, you\u2019ll find it hard to meet your needs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You have a lot that you\u2019re planning to do with money. You probably need to rent a bigger house, update your household items and save money for the unexpected. This also means cutting short on grocery candy, probably.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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2. Unrealistic Expectations<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

After moving in together, you may realize your spouse is different from the one you were dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Spending time together for long means understanding the ins and outs of each other. Perhaps there\u2019s what you expected before marriage, such as undivided attention, sexual intimacy, shared responsibilities, and respect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While it\u2019s crucial to meet each other\u2019s expectations, sometimes it gets difficult, thus leading to conflicts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Selfishness<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Your partner might be too selfish, leaving you feeling lonely and unappreciated. When all a partner thinks about is their happiness and comfort, conflicts will likely arise. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Addiction<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Your partner might be having some form of addiction that you didn\u2019t notice when dating. Whether it\u2019s drugs, pornography, gambling, or the internet, you will likely get disappointed with your partner. If addiction is not addressed early, it may pose a significant danger to your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Fitting in Two Families<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Depending on your significant other relatives, you may or may not have tried to avoid them while dating. Now this is impossible, gladly or maybe not so much.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When living alone, you only need to take care of yourself and your family. Moving in with your partner means taking care of more people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re to make decisions, such as relocation, you have to involve both families. You also have to give both families your time and attention. Trying to accommodate your family and your partner\u2019s family may sometimes feel like a Herculean task.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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While the first year of marriage may prove challenging to newlyweds, communication is the key. You can discuss your expectations, goals, and how to solve problems when they arise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One study states that 67.5% of marriages<\/a> end due to communication problems. With effective communication, you don\u2019t have to grapple with the question, what are the hardest years of marriage?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you make it to the third year together, you can rest assured of experiencing happy times in marriage. By the third year, couples are used to solving problems together, sharing finances, and planning to start a family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Fifth Year<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The fifth year is the next stage where you are likely to experience difficulties in your marriage. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most likely, by this year, there will be one or several human beings that share you and your partner\u2019s DNA.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is the time when couples are struggling with kids and work. You come home exhausted, and everyone, including your pets, needs your attention. You have to attend to your household chores, baby, and spouse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For most couples, dividing their attention at this time is usually challenging. When they get overwhelmed, they even regret why they got married. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most couples who cannot deal with problems in their fifth year may contemplate divorce. With nearly 20% of marriages<\/a> breaking up within the first five years, you will likely divorce if misunderstandings persist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What are some of the top reasons that make the fifth year complicated for married couples? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Divided Attention<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Marriage involves hard work. You have to struggle to stay committed to your partner while taking care of a baby. Most men find it challenging to navigate this stage of life. Before the baby, they have all the attention they need.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But once kids come, women have to balance between attending to their babies and husbands. The baby comes with a lot of demands. Divided attention and more demands make marriages more stressful. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is where you\u2019ll have to puff your chest out and decide that your furry friend, although easier to get along with, is not your priority.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Disagreements Over Responsibilities<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Disagreement in marriage is inevitable. Through disputes, you realize the problem and learn how to solve it. However, disagreements resulting from one partner neglecting their responsibilities can bring conflict and misunderstanding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, you might disagree on a particular parenting style, paying the bills, or daily chores<\/a>. Any disputes that are not solved satisfactorily strain marriages. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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3. Failing To Communicate Promptly<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Communication in marriage could be all the cure that most failing marriages need. When married, it\u2019s no longer about you alone, but it\u2019s you and your spouse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When making decisions or facing problems, your partner expects you to speak up. Remember, everything that you do may have an impact on your marriage. If you fail to communicate, your partner might feel sidelined, lonely and unappreciated. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Overbearing In-laws<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

How do you expect your spouse to treat your parents and siblings? How does your partner expect you to treat their parents or siblings?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Often, spouses in their fifth year have learned a lot about their in-laws. In the case of overbearing in-laws, you may feel disrespected and denied space to do things your way. Such in-laws can cause a lot of friction in marriages. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Contradicting Life Plans<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

After spending the first blissful years in marriage, couples have to step into the other phase of life. This stage usually occurs in the fifth year. Partners start to make serious life decisions such as investment, education, number of children, and how to stay in touch with in-laws. If you disagree on various plans that affect your marriage, things may not end well. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just like when you grew and decided being an astronaut was not the best option, a few years in marriage could change boths life goals. The key is to talk it over and make a decision together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Seventh Year<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

If you ask couples what the hardest years of marriage are, most will talk about the seven-year itch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A study<\/a> suggests that most marriages end in divorce after seven years. But why is the seven-year itch popularized as the most challenging stage in marriage? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the seventh year, most couples are no longer passionate about each other. In addition, there\u2019s accumulated stress resulting from work and raising children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For most couples, kids have started schooling, and life becomes monotonous \u2013 taking kids to school, going to work, and picking them up. While several reasons come into play, the seven-year itch makes couples long for a different life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what reasons make the seventh year difficult for married couples? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Boredom<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

In the seventh year, you\u2019re used to a routine. Whether it\u2019s household chores or work, you rarely find something exciting to do daily. And this is where boredom sets in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Read More:<\/strong> How Do Affairs Start?<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel like you\u2019re stuck in a rut and have no idea how to snap yourself out of it. As a result, you become less happy and dissatisfied in marriage. If you fail to address issues, you might distance yourself from your partner and contemplate divorce. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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2. Altered Sex Life<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Remember how sex used to be when dating or after the wedding. It was sex anywhere and anytime. Not even the washing machine was a bad option. But living together for seven years, you no longer enjoy the same sexual experiences of your first days or months in marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Life has changed; you have kids, careers to chase, and goals to meet. While you might still have bouts of mind-blowing sex, it won\u2019t happen as often as it used to back then. If you\u2019re struggling with so many things in life, you\u2019ll have less sex and eventually fall out of love. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Couples who get past the seven-year itch together are likely to have a long and happy marriage. If you wish to stay together past this stage, you should seek ways to beat the seven-year itch. Some of the best ways to pass this stage and any other stage in marriage include:<\/p>\n\n\n\n