![\"picture](\"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/depressed-spouse.jpg\")
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n![\"picture](\"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/apologize-spouse.jpg\")
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n- Do cheaters feel guilty?<\/div><\/div>While statistics show that around 68% of men feel guilty<\/a>, the answer to this question often depends on the specific cheater. Not all cheaters may feel guilty after an affair or adultery, but many of them do.\r\n\r\nWhatever their reasons may be for cheating, your partner may still feel guilty afterward for betraying your trust or hurting your feelings. Keep in mind that feeling guilty isn\u2019t enough of an apology.\r\n\r\nEven if they feel bad about what they\u2019ve done, the only way to save the relationship is if the cheater is committed to understanding how hurtful their actions were, doesn\u2019t offer excuses, and works towards regaining your trust. Remember that this might take a long time, and you may have to go to couples counseling.<\/div><\/li>How should I confront my partner about cheating?<\/div><\/div>We\u2019ve covered how your partner may react to a confrontation above, but how do you go about having that conversation, to begin with? While it can depend on the specific situation, there\u2019s a couple of critical steps you can follow for a more successful confrontation.\r\n\r\nDon\u2019t make any rash decisions<\/strong>\r\n\r\nWhen you first find out they\u2019ve been cheating, your instinct may be to confront your partner and get to the bottom of things, but this isn\u2019t always the best approach.\r\n\r\nReacting out of anger and hurt can escalate the situation or make it hard to view things clearly. Try taking a few deep breaths, calm down for an hour, or even vent to an unbiased third party before you do anything.\r\n\r\nEvaluate the information you have<\/strong>\r\n\r\nIf you\u2019ve been cheated on previously, those trust issues can linger in a new relationship. Every time your partner comes home from work a little late or gains a new friend, alarm bells may be going off in your brain. Even if there\u2019s no infidelity happening.\r\n\r\nMake sure you evaluate the information and proof you do have of their cheating. If your partner has never given you a reason to mistrust them and you\u2019re just relying on a hunch, an angry confrontation could do more harm than good. If you do have hard proof they\u2019ve cheated, you can use that in your argument.\r\n\r\nFigure out what you\u2019d like from the conversation<\/strong>\r\n\r\nCome into the conversation with a purpose. Do you want to restore the relationship and forgive them, or do you want to cut ties and break up?\r\n\r\nSometimes, the answer to this can depend on how your partner reacts to the accusation, but it\u2019s still good to have a general idea of what you want.\r\n\r\nPick a time and place<\/strong>\r\n\r\nSet up a time for you and your partner to talk where you\u2019ll be free of distractions like friends or kids. Don\u2019t add any alcohol or drugs into the mix, and make sure you\u2019ve calmed down enough to have a civil discussion.\r\n\r\nListen and then make a plan<\/strong>\r\n\r\nBring up the facts to your partner and listen to what they have to say. Make a plan on where to go from there. If they try to manipulate or gaslight you, you may want to cut ties immediately. If they apologize and repent for what they\u2019ve done, you can then decide on whether or not you want to trust them again.<\/div><\/li>How should I ask my partner if they are cheating?<\/div><\/div>When you\u2019re accusing your partner of cheating, pointing fingers and yelling can escalate the situation\u00a0 \u2013 but it can also make it easier for the cheater to manipulate the situation and twist the truth too.\r\n\r\n \r\n\r\nDuring the confrontation, you can raise your concerns without direct accusations. Maybe you tell them that you\u2019ve noticed they\u2019re deleting text messages or being secretive about their phone, and you\u2019re concerned. If you have direct proof that they\u2019ve cheated, bring up the facts or show the evidence, and then ask for an explanation.<\/div><\/li>How do guilty cheaters act?<\/div><\/div>While these signs don\u2019t always mean they\u2019re cheating, the behavior we\u2019ve listed below can point towards a guilty cheater:\r\n
- \r\n \t
- They\u2019re being secretive about their phone and keeping specific conversations private from you<\/li>\r\n \t
- They\u2019ve suddenly improved their appearance, which can be a sign they\u2019re trying to look attractive for a new person<\/li>\r\n \t
- They\u2019ve had a sudden schedule change, and there are long hours where they\u2019re preoccupied or unreachable<\/li>\r\n \t
- There\u2019s a change in how much physical intimacy you and your partner have<\/li>\r\n \t
- There are odd charges on your joint bank account that your partner can\u2019t explain<\/li>\r\n \t
- They don\u2019t seem willing or able to connect with you as they have in the past emotionally<\/li>\r\n \t
- They\u2019ve been spending a lot of time outside the house or having frequent \u201cmeetings\u201d or unexplained absences<\/li>\r\n<\/ul><\/div><\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div><\/article><\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
If someone has ever cheated on you, you know the heartbreak doesn\u2019t end once you find the evidence of your cheater\u2019s crimes. You\u2019ve still have to confront them about what they\u2019ve done, and that\u2019s never easy. From manipulation and gaslighting to tears and guilt, not all cheaters follow the same script. However, every cheater\u2019s reaction … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":20,"featured_media":2206,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"none","_seopress_titles_title":"How Do Cheaters React When Accused? (13 Tell-Tale Signs)","_seopress_titles_desc":"Every cheater\u2019s reaction may be a little different when you confront them. Here are 13 tell-tale signs to know you've caught them.","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false},"categories":[123],"tags":[171],"featured_image_src":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/confronting-cheating-spouse-600x400.jpg","featured_image_src_square":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/confronting-cheating-spouse-600x500.jpg","author_info":{"display_name":"Lauren Cook-McKay","author_link":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/author\/laurendivorceanswers-com\/"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2200"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/20"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2200"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2200\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11004,"href":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2200\/revisions\/11004"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2206"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2200"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2200"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2200"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
- \u201cI never said that.\u201d<\/li>
- \u201cThat didn\u2019t happen.\u201d<\/li>
- \u201cYou\u2019re just being sensitive.\u201d<\/li>
- \u201cYou take things the wrong way.\u201d<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n
While it can happen between friends and family, gaslighting can be especially apparent in relationships, especially with cheaters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Once they\u2019re desperate, cheaters will do anything to convince you things aren\u2019t as they seem. Rather than deny what happened, they may tell you you\u2019re ridiculous for even suggesting they\u2019d cheat or that you don\u2019t know what you saw or heard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A cheater\u2019s goal is to make you question the reality of the situation, but this is just a manipulation tactic, and it\u2019s essential to stick to the truth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They Will Turn the Tables<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Similar to gaslighting, some cheaters may try and turn the tables and lay the blame on you. Instead of admitting to their own choices, they may argue that you pushed them into it, you haven\u2019t been paying them enough attention, you\u2019re too tied up with work, and that they had no choice but to look for attention elsewhere. They may even accuse you of cheating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
With this tactic, the cheater will do and say anything to make their mistake into yours. If they succeed, a cheater will have you begging their forgiveness. Not the other way around.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Read More:<\/strong> Husband Turning Everything Around On You?<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n
\n![\"picture](\"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/turning-tables-on-spouse.jpg\")
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\nThey Will Make It About Them<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
When accusing a cheater, the confrontation should focus on their mistake, but some cheaters may try to make the situation about them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Rather than express remorse, they\u2019ll make excuses. They\u2019ll tell you how stressed out they\u2019ve been with work, how vulnerable they\u2019ve been, and how unhappy they\u2019ve been. They may even tell you how guilty they feel about what they did or how they just can\u2019t get over it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A cheater wants to avoid the confrontation, so they\u2019ll try and redirect the conversation onto why they\u2019ve been unhappy or stressed out. They\u2019ll make it about their emotions and feelings, not yours.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If a cheater can successfully make it all about them, you may spend the entire conversation talking through their feelings or even comforting the cheater about their adultery.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Read More:<\/strong> 25 Cheating Wife Signs<\/a> or 25 Cheating Husband Signs<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n
They Will Blame Alcohol and Drugs<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
One of a cheater\u2019s favorite ways of redirecting fault is by blaming drugs or alcohol. If they cheated at a party, they might tell you they were too drunk or high to think clearly, and didn\u2019t mean for the incident to happen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Although your partner may not have been sober while it happened, you\u2019ve still got to remember that they made a choice to drink or do drugs heavily. Plenty of adults participate in recreational alcohol and drugs, but not all cheat on their partners.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A cheater is still responsible for choosing to drink or do drugs, especially at an event or party where they may have the opportunity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They Will Lie About How Many Times It Happened<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Cheaters want to make themselves seem as innocent as possible, so they may also lie about details of their cheating, including how many times it happened. When you confront them, don\u2019t be surprised if your partner tells you that it only happened once or was just one mistake.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
While it\u2019s possible you may have caught them the first time, it\u2019s more likely that there\u2019s been a pattern of cheating throughout your relationship. Keep in mind that most cheaters continue to cheat until they get caught, not just one or two times.<\/p>\n\n\n
\n![\"picture](\"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/caught-cheating.jpg\")
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\nThey Will Say It Won\u2019t Happen Again<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
While some cheaters may deny it from the start, others may be honest about it while promising never to let it happen again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
However, now that they\u2019ve already broken your trust, it\u2019s a lot harder for most people to believe that their partner will never cheat again. Most of the time, you\u2019ve got two choices when you hear this statement:<\/p>\n\n\n\n