{"id":1845,"date":"2021-10-06T21:52:44","date_gmt":"2021-10-07T01:52:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/?p=1845"},"modified":"2022-07-28T09:54:53","modified_gmt":"2022-07-28T14:54:53","slug":"co-parenting-with-a-narcissist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/co-parenting-with-a-narcissist\/","title":{"rendered":"A Survival Guide to Co-parenting with a Narcissist"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
What Co-parenting with a Narcissist is Like<\/a> | 11 Tips for Co-Parenting with a Narcissist<\/a> | When Narcissists Are Parents<\/a> | FAQs<\/a> | Beyond Your Limits? When To Take Further Action<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n Are you married with children \u2014 and the other parent is a narcissist? If so, you are not alone!<\/p>\n\n\n\n From the renowned book “Abstract of Psychotherapeutic Assessment and Treatment of Narcissistic Personality Disorder”, their findings suggest that 2 \u2013 16% of the United States population are full-fledged narcissists<\/a>. So your odds of marrying a narcissist are not as unlikely as you may like to imagine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There are associated consequences when you are married to a narcissist<\/a>, such as raising children with them. Handling a narcissist can sometimes feel like dealing with a child so throwing actual children and their well-being into the mix can become a disaster.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This is not the time to panic; this is the time to take action. This survival guide will help you learn how to successfully co-parent with a narcissist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Psychology Today<\/a> comes right out and says it: Coparenting with a narcissist is impossible<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Being that narcissists thrive on their illustrious grandiose sense of self and \u2018always being the winner\u2019, to find a happy medium ground is damn-near impossible. And their style of parenting? It is way better than yours (in their minds).<\/p>\n\n\n\n To quickly recap, a narcissist is basically someone who:<\/p>\n\n\n\n You must learn to get creative when co-parenting with a narcissist as they surely are going to try and manipulate you into their style of parenting. Even if you get divorced from them<\/a>, it doesn\u2019t end there. The toxic abuse and gaslighting<\/a> unfortunately will not end with just you\u2014it will spill over onto your children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So what\u2019s it like raising children with a narcissist? Hell. Some days will be okay and others will feel like you are stuck with your high school bully for all eternity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The toxic verbal abuse will definitely be present. Do not expect your spouse to speak kindly of you to your children\u2014they certainly will smear you to ensure they are the victor in your children\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You may feel down and out of luck co-parenting with a narcissist but these tips will help guide you along the way. There will be days you feel helpless and fear for your children but you do not have to worry\u2014there is help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There are many tips that will ensure your children are raised healthily in an abuse-free home. But you must be rigorous in your stance and hold firm to your boundaries\u2014or risk your children taking the brunt force of the abuse right along with you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here are the top 11 tips for co-parenting with a narcissist:<\/p>\n\n\n\n This is a major<\/em> step that cannot be side-stepped at any cost. This is the foundation of a successful, healthy rearing plan for your beautiful children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n After a divorce, creating a formalized legal parenting plan and schedule is a must. Once this plan is set, you must stick to it\u2014no matter what kind of games your narcissistic co-parent will try to play.<\/p>\n\n\n\n With an attorney, you must establish a legal parenting plan. Healthline suggests that narcissists are going to gun for as much time as possible with the children; therefore, a written agreement forces them to respect the boundary that is decided upon. And if they don\u2019t, there is legal recourse to their own detriment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A legal plan can include but is not limited to:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Each and every step must be detailed in this plan so your ex-spouse cannot exploit any of the decided parameters. Spending the money on a lawyer to help you develop this plan is well<\/em> worth it. They are there to protect you and your children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The next step to successfully co-parent with a narcissist is to ensure the use of mediators and guardians at litem. A mediator is an impartial, unbiased third-party hired to ensure the execution of the legal terms of an agreement between you and your ex-spouse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If the terms must be remanded, they will also help negotiate new terms. Ad litem guardians are hired on behalf of your children or those not capable of representing themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n These are wonderful safeguards to ensure your children\u2019s safety and proper rearing\u2014out of the control of your narcissistic spouse. They act as boundary enforcers so neither you nor your ex is responsible for enforcing the legal plan going forward\u2014which saves a hell of a headache for you.<\/p>\n\n\nWhat Co-parenting with a Narcissist is Like<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
11 Tips for Co-Parenting with a Narcissist<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
1. Formalize a legal parenting plan and schedule<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
2. Use mediators and guardian ad litem (GAL)<\/h3>\n\n\n\n