{"id":1587,"date":"2021-09-08T21:13:29","date_gmt":"2021-09-09T01:13:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/?p=1587"},"modified":"2022-07-24T12:41:37","modified_gmt":"2022-07-24T17:41:37","slug":"dating-during-divorce","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/dating-during-divorce\/","title":{"rendered":"A Survival Guide For Dating While Going Through a Divorce"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\n\n\n

Dating can be rocky waters for anyone, but if you\u2019re getting back in the dating game during a divorce<\/a>, it can be downright terrifying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not only do you have to worry about the emotional stress that comes with connecting to new people, but there can be legal, financial and other consequences too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Before you go and start downloading the dating apps, here\u2019s what you should know about the real life consequences, the do\u2019s and don'ts of dating during divorce, and how to start the process once the divorce papers have been signed and finalized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

9 Real Life Consequences of Dating During Divorce<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Both dating and divorce can get messy when emotions are involved, and mixing them together doesn\u2019t always go well \u2013 you could end up with a recipe that blows up in your face, and here\u2019s why.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Your Divorce Will Take Longer<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

You may feel like you\u2019re ready to move and connect with someone new, but your spouse may not feel the same way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if they seem like they\u2019ve come to terms after you asked them to get a divorce<\/a>, adding a new person into the mix can bring up buried feelings of resentment and anger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And, most of the time, angry and resentful people aren\u2019t going to be keen on cooperation \u2013 rather than settle the divorce amicably, your spouse may decide to draw the case out longer, if only to make your life (and your new partner\u2019s) a little harder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Your Divorce Settlement Will Be in Jeopardy<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

While it can depend on the state you\u2019re living in, dating during divorce can actually be considered adulter<\/a>y \u2013 some states, like Texas, consider you a married couple until you\u2019ve signed the divorce papers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Adultery is still grounds for divorce in many states, but it could help your spouse create a fault-based argument against you as an adulterer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If they can create enough doubt that you\u2019ve been using community funds to go on dates or buy gifts for a lover, you could end up having to reimburse that money  \u2013 or letting your spouse take a bigger chunk of the settlement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Your Children Are Not Ready<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

The divorce process can be stressful for anyone, but if you\u2019ve got children, divorce can be especially rocky.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In many cases, your children are still processing the split (or holding out hope that their parents can make it work), and adding someone new to the mix doesn\u2019t help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some children may feel like you\u2019re using a new partner to replace their other parent, or if they\u2019re young enough, they may try and blame the new partner for the entire divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not only does dating during a divorce become more confusing for your kids, but it can also affect how they view you or your new lover too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Throughout the divorce, dating may negatively impact their mental health, and it can also take time away from having one-on-one time with your kids when they are struggling with the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Get Ready For a Complicated Child Custody & Co-Parenting Arrangement<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Just like dating can draw out the divorce process, it can also play a big role on how amicable your spouse is about child custody and co-parenting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it makes your life a little harder, some people may be unwilling to accept any co-parenting arrangement that you propose or even fight for full custody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not to mention, your spouse may also have concerns about who you\u2019re dating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While the divorce is still fresh, they may be nervous about who spends time around your children \u2013 especially if they\u2019ve already got hesitation about your new partner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Your Divorce Will Get More Expensive<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Dating can easily draw out the divorce process, and that can cost you in legal and attorney fees.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can also end up paying more if your spouse decides to pursue a larger divorce settlement on grounds of adultery.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. Your Healing Process Will Be Impacted<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Whether you\u2019ve been married five years or fifteen, many people liken divorce to death \u2013 you may not have a body to bury, but you\u2019re still putting your marriage in the ground.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You shouldn\u2019t be surprised if you experience all the stages of grief<\/a> \u2013 including denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This grief can be one of the hardest things you\u2019ll ever experience, but it\u2019s essential for the healing process.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The problem with dating during divorce is that it doesn\u2019t always allow you to feel the full scope of grief \u2013 you may meet someone new before you\u2019ve completely grieved the previous relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may not see how dating impacts your healing process immediately, especially if you\u2019re starry-eyed with a new lover.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, whether you feel it in three months or three years, dating too early can stunt your emotional growth and prevent you from completely moving on.<\/p>\n\n\n

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7. The Person You Are Dating Could Resent You<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Even if you\u2019re direct about your situation from the start, dating during a divorce can also put a lot of unnecessary stress on your new partner and your new relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Any of the anger, resentment, stress, or sadness that you feel during the divorce can rub off on that new person, especially if you\u2019re trying to use them as an emotional crutch or moral support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are plenty of ways your new partner can feel the strain of your divorce, including:<\/p>\n\n\n\n