{"id":1372,"date":"2021-09-03T10:50:34","date_gmt":"2021-09-03T14:50:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/?p=1372"},"modified":"2022-07-28T09:51:28","modified_gmt":"2022-07-28T14:51:28","slug":"how-to-ask-for-a-divorce","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/how-to-ask-for-a-divorce\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Ask For a Divorce, When You&#8217;re Nervous (But Ready)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><a href=\"#1\">Are You Ready?<\/a> | <a href=\"#2\">Before the Talk<\/a> | <a href=\"#3\">Telling Your Spouse<\/a> | <a href=\"#4\">After the Talk<\/a> | <a href=\"#5\">FAQs<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<p>The prospect of asking for a divorce from your spouse can be nerve-racking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But, remember that you\u2019re not alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>According to the CDC, every year over 745,000 divorces are filed in the United States.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Whether you\u2019re done staying together just for the kids or your spouse has changed (for the worse) during your marriage, getting a divorce can be a positive life change for couples in turmoil.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When it comes to the difficult topic of how to ask for a divorce, there are some crucial steps to take before, during, and after \u201cthe Talk\u201d with your spouse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You need to take some time to reflect and determine if and why you\u2019re ready for a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You are going to want to write your feelings down to prepare for \u201cthe Talk\u201d, take careful consideration into choosing a time and location for \u201cthe Talk,\u201d and be prepared to handle your spouse\u2019s emotional response.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What happens during and after \u201cthe Talk\u201d is different for every couple so having a plan will help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, be prepared for the conversation to not always go according to plan and having to make adjustments in the moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Below we will help you plan the best way for you to ask your spouse for a divorce and be ready for &#8220;the Talk&#8221;.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"1\">Are You 100% Ready For Divorce?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>First, you need to make sure you\u2019re ready for a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you\u2019re on the fence, you\u2019ll need to do some soul-searching before you approach the topic with your spouse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Asking for a divorce is not a decision you should make impulsively.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Getting divorced is a lot like getting married, if you feel like you\u2019re ready, you probably are, and there\u2019s little hope of talking you out of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dr. Ann Gold Buscho, author of the Psychology Today column \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/better-divorce\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" data-lasso-id=\"396\">A Better Divorce<\/a>,\u201d recommends that potential divorcees seek professional counseling to help with the decision.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A therapist can provide support during the decision-making process and help you determine if you\u2019ve explored every possible option to salvage the relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you think that you can save the marriage, ask your partner to consider participating in marriage counseling or a marital education program.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.apa.org\/research\/action\/marital#:~:text=Marital%20education%20programs%20that%20focus%20on%20the%20dynamic%20factors%20have%20been%20proven%20to%20strengthen%20marriages.\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" data-lasso-id=\"397\">Marital education programs<\/a> teach couples to improve their communication and conflict resolution skills.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>One program, the Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program (PREP), has proven to decrease relationship aggression, negative relationship interactions, and the rate of divorce in participating couples.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But, even if you\u2019re confident that the marriage is unsalvageable, Dr. Buscho recommends imagining life without your spouse and reflecting on how those thoughts make you feel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Any emotions\u2014anger, stress, sadness, or even joy\u2014are valid during the reflection process.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Most importantly, make sure that you haven\u2019t left any stones unturned in your reflection process.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The decision to divorce <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" data-lasso-id=\"399\" href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/better-divorce\/201908\/finding-clarity-how-do-i-make-the-decision-divorce#:~:text=The%20confusion%20is%20normal.%20It%20is%20normal%20to%20feel%20deeply%20ambivalent%20about%20divorcing.%20This%20is%20one%20of%20the%20biggest%20and%20most%20difficult%20decisions%20you%20will%20ever%20have%20to%20make.%20It%20is%20not%20a%20decision%20that%20should%20be%20made%20impulsively%20or%20without%20a%20lot%20of%20thought%20and%20work.\" target=\"_blank\">shouldn\u2019t be made lightly<\/a>, and if you feel that there\u2019s even a chance of reconciliation, make an effort to save the marriage before ending it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-affiliate-plugin-lasso\"><div id=\"lasso-anchor-id-9584-23647\" class=\"lasso-container\">\n    <!-- LASSO DISPLAY BOX (https:\/\/getlasso.co) -->\n\t<div class=\"lasso-display lasso-splash lasso-url-goto-online-therapy-1 \">\n\n\t\t<!-- BADGE -->\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"lasso-badge\">\n\t\t\t\tWhat We Recommend\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\n\t\t<!-- LASSO TITLE, PRICE, DESC, AND IMAGE -->\n\t\t<div class=\"lasso-box-1\">\n\t\t\t<a class=\"lasso-image\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/goto-online-therapy-1\/\" data-lasso-box-trackable=\"true\" data-lasso-id=\"9584\" data-lasso-name=\"Online Therapy That Works - Start Getting Happier Now!\" title=\"Online Therapy That Works - Start Getting Happier Now!\" rel=\"nofollow noopener sponsored\">\n\t\t\t\t<img src=\"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/online-therapy-logo-lasso.webp\" height=\"500\" width=\"500\" loading=\"lazy\" alt=\"Online Therapy That Works - Start Getting Happier Now!\">\n\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n\t\t<!-- BUTTONS -->\n\t\t<div class=\"lasso-box-2\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"lasso-title\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/goto-online-therapy-1\/\" data-lasso-box-trackable=\"true\" data-lasso-id=\"9584\" data-lasso-name=\"Online Therapy That Works - Start Getting Happier Now!\" title=\"Online Therapy That Works - Start Getting Happier Now!\" rel=\"nofollow noopener sponsored\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\tOnline Therapy That Works - Start Getting Happier Now!\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"clear\"><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"lasso-description\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<p>Considering a divorce can really take an emotional toll on even the strongest people.<\/p><p>If you are in need of therapy with both privacy and convenience, we recommend Online-Therapy.com. Their incredible service gives you access to instant professional help, on any device, wherever you are in the world.<\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<a class=\"lasso-button-1\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/goto-online-therapy-1\/\" data-lasso-box-trackable=\"true\" data-lasso-id=\"9584\" data-lasso-name=\"Online Therapy That Works - Start Getting Happier Now!\" title=\"Online Therapy That Works - Start Getting Happier Now!\" rel=\"nofollow noopener sponsored\">\n\t\t\t\tVisit Online-Therapy\t\t\t<\/a>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\n\t\t\t<div class=\"lasso-end\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"lasso-disclosure\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span>We earn a commission if you make a purchase, at no additional cost to you.<\/span>\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"lasso-date\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"2\">How To Prepare For \u201cthe Talk\u201d<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>If you\u2019re ready to bring the topic of divorce to the table with your spouse, there are a 2 crucial steps you need to take beforehand:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol><li><strong>Find and Maintain Support<\/strong> &#8211; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/having-sex-wanting-intimacy\/201608\/4-expert-tips-emotionally-preparing-divorce#:~:text=4.%20Socially%3A%20Seek%20Support%E2%80%94\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" data-lasso-id=\"400\">Find a supportive friend<\/a>, relative, or counselor to confide in throughout the process<\/li><li><strong>Writing Down Your Feelings<\/strong> &#8211; Organize your thoughts and feelings into a written document for both preparation and to guide your divorce conversation<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Finding and Maintaining Support<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Having support during the divorce process is crucial to your mental health.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Whether you seek support from a friend, a family member, or a professional counselor, you\u2019re going to need them more than you think.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Once you find your person, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.nedratawwab.com\/blog\/benefits-of-setting-boundaries\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" data-lasso-id=\"401\">set healthy communication boundaries<\/a> with them including the following.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Determine how you want support<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>Over text? Over the phone? Exclusively in person?<\/li><li>Setting boundaries, like \u201cI won\u2019t make you read novels about my divorce over text,\u201d or &#8220;I won't call you with everything that pops into my head&#8221; will help prevent your supporter from burnout.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Determine when you want support<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>During a weekly standing appointment? A daily phone call? A weekly Zoom session?<\/li><li>Having a set time also prevents supporter burnout but gives you a chance to order your thoughts and emotionally reflect on your own before asking for support.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Determine your support needs<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>Do you want your supporter to hold you accountable for saying unkind things about your spouse?<\/li><li>Do you want your supporter to remind you of your goals during the divorce?<\/li><li>Do you want your supporter to initiate social activities to relieve your mind during the divorce?<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Finding a supportive person and setting boundaries with them (for your mutual benefit) is integral to staying mentally well while preparing to ask for a divorce and during the divorce process.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Writing Down Your Feelings<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Before \u201cthe Talk,\u201d you need to get all of your thoughts and feelings out on paper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/psychcentral.com\/pro\/recovery-expert\/2020\/04\/using-brain-dumping-to-manage-anxiety-and-over-thinking#:~:text=Brain%20Dumping%20is%20a%20step%20above%20a%20coping%20skill.%20It%20is%20a%20technique.%20It%20involves%20removing%20the%20%E2%80%9Cover%20thinking%E2%80%9D%20thoughts%20from%20your%20mind%20and%20placing%20them%20somewhere%20else.%20This%20can%20help%20you%20live%20more%20freely%20throughout%20each%20day%20as%20the%20things%20that%20are%20troubling%20you%20are%20being%20resolved.\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" data-lasso-id=\"402\">Brain dumping<\/a> or journaling about the divorce before \u201cthe Talk\u201d will help you process your emotions and will serve as a bank of information about your feelings.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"800\" height=\"500\" src=\"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/journaling.jpg\" alt=\"picture of a woman journaling on the beach\" class=\"wp-image-1406\" srcset=\"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/journaling.jpg 800w, https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/journaling-300x188.jpg 300w, https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/journaling-768x480.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<p>Read over what you\u2019ve written. Which things do you need your spouse to know when you ask them for a divorce?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Order your thoughts into an outline to use during \u201cthe Talk.\u201d You can either memorize your outline or better yet bring it with you to reference during the conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Avoid accusatory statements like, \u201cYou don\u2019t care about me anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Instead, focus on your own feelings, and create your outline by saying \u201cI want a divorce because\u2026\u201d before each bullet point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Once you have your support system and your written document ready, you\u2019ll be prepared to ask for a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"3\">How to Tell Your Spouse You Want a Divorce<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>When you feel you\u2019re 100% ready to have \u201cthe Talk,\u201d make an action plan for where the physical conversation will take place, when you\u2019ll have the conversation, what to say, how you\u2019ll maintain respect, and how to initiate the conversation (arguably the most challenging part).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Use the tips below to begin making a plan on how to ask for a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">When to Tell Your Spouse<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Just like any other bad news, there\u2019s never going to be a good time to tell your spouse that you want a divorce. But, there are definitely situations where you should avoid bringing up divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Don\u2019t tell your spouse during a major life transition.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>Is one of your children about to leave for college? Consider waiting until your child is settled in and the home environment adjusts to the change before bringing up another huge transition.<\/li><li>Did your spouse just start a new job? Wait for them to adjust to their new work environment and workload before starting the divorce conversation.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Don\u2019t tell your spouse during a family event or when any people could overhear.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>While you and your spouse will both need a support system during the process, bringing up a divorce in front of others could embarrass your spouse or lead to the involvement of unnecessary parties.<\/li><li>You will not want to be around strangers in a public place. This is a conversation that is best handled in when it's just the two of you together.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Don\u2019t tell your spouse before, during, or immediately after an important event.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>Did a friend or family member recently pass away, or did someone close to you recently get divorced? Perhaps another event took place that was significant in nature. If so, give it some more time to not confuse the event with your true desire for divorce.<\/li><li>Stay clear of announcing your intentions to divorce with attending a wedding. Your spouse could associate the divorce with the recently-married couple, resulting in unnecessary resentment or spoiling positive memories of the event.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>If you have children in the house, wait until they go to bed or leave for school before initiating the conversation about divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Any other present parties will likely be unable to resist interjection or uncomfortable feelings, and this should be a conversation solely between you and your spouse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Where To Tell Your Spouse<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cThe Talk\u201d will likely proceed smoothly during a time when you and your spouse are in your home alone or another comfortable private space.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Telling your spouse anywhere in public is likely a bad idea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you and your spouse aren\u2019t on speaking terms, treat the discussion like an appointment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ask your spouse, \u201cCan we please talk after the kids go to bed?\u201d or \u201cCan you and I talk tonight after we get home from work?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Commit to a time, and stick with it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If your spouse attempts to postpone the conversation (\u201cI have plans with friends tonight,\u201d \u201cCan we watch a movie and talk after?\u201d \u201cBut the game is on,\u201d et cetera), stand your ground. Say, \u201cThis is an important talk we need to have.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Tell your spouse in a space where they feel they feel comfortable and can be vulnerable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you generally have good conversations in the kitchen or the living room, have \u201cthe Talk\u201d there.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/couple-having-serious-conversation.jpg\" alt=\"picture of a couple having serious conversation\" class=\"wp-image-1408\"\/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<p>Ultimately, only you can decide the best place in your home to have the conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But, if you and your spouse are no longer living together, you\u2019ll likely feel most empowered to have the conversation in your primary residence, not the place where your spouse is living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Most importantly, don\u2019t ambush your spouse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Set expectations for the time and place where you\u2019ll have \u201cthe Talk,\u201d and make sure your spouse understands the magnitude of the conversation.<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-affiliate-plugin-lasso\"><div id=\"lasso-anchor-id-9584-23648\" class=\"lasso-container\">\n    <!-- LASSO DISPLAY BOX (https:\/\/getlasso.co) -->\n\t<div class=\"lasso-display lasso-splash lasso-url-goto-online-therapy-1 \">\n\n\t\t<!-- BADGE -->\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"lasso-badge\">\n\t\t\t\tWhat We Recommend\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\n\t\t<!-- LASSO TITLE, PRICE, DESC, AND IMAGE -->\n\t\t<div class=\"lasso-box-1\">\n\t\t\t<a class=\"lasso-image\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/goto-online-therapy-1\/\" data-lasso-box-trackable=\"true\" data-lasso-id=\"9584\" data-lasso-name=\"Online Therapy That Works - Start Getting Happier Now!\" title=\"Online Therapy That Works - Start Getting Happier Now!\" rel=\"nofollow noopener sponsored\">\n\t\t\t\t<img src=\"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/online-therapy-logo-lasso.webp\" height=\"500\" width=\"500\" loading=\"lazy\" alt=\"Online Therapy That Works - Start Getting Happier Now!\">\n\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n\t\t<!-- BUTTONS -->\n\t\t<div class=\"lasso-box-2\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"lasso-title\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/goto-online-therapy-1\/\" data-lasso-box-trackable=\"true\" data-lasso-id=\"9584\" data-lasso-name=\"Online Therapy That Works - Start Getting Happier Now!\" title=\"Online Therapy That Works - Start Getting Happier Now!\" rel=\"nofollow noopener sponsored\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\tOnline Therapy That Works - Start Getting Happier Now!\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"clear\"><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"lasso-description\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<p>Considering a divorce can really take an emotional toll on even the strongest people.<\/p><p>If you are in need of therapy with both privacy and convenience, we recommend Online-Therapy.com. Their incredible service gives you access to instant professional help, on any device, wherever you are in the world.<\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<a class=\"lasso-button-1\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/goto-online-therapy-1\/\" data-lasso-box-trackable=\"true\" data-lasso-id=\"9584\" data-lasso-name=\"Online Therapy That Works - Start Getting Happier Now!\" title=\"Online Therapy That Works - Start Getting Happier Now!\" rel=\"nofollow noopener sponsored\">\n\t\t\t\tVisit Online-Therapy\t\t\t<\/a>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\n\t\t\t<div class=\"lasso-end\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"lasso-disclosure\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span>We earn a commission if you make a purchase, at no additional cost to you.<\/span>\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"lasso-date\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What To Say To Your Spouse<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Writing down your feelings and turning them into an outline for the discussion is a great tactic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But, what will you actually say?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In all likelihood, your spouse will have a lot to say, so you want your outline to include as much information as you need to get through everything you need to effectively communicate why you are asking for a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You should come up with some important \u201cwhys\u201d and include them in your outline.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ask yourself, \u201cWhy do I want a divorce?\u201d and answer honestly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Include these reasons in your outline.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You\u2019re going to have to be as honest as possible during this conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you\u2019ve decided that having children is a non-negotiable for you and your spouse doesn\u2019t want them, say that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Is your <a href=\"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/toxic-marriage\/\" data-lasso-id=\"761\">marriage toxic<\/a> and you can't take it anymore, they probably feel the same way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you can\u2019t look past your spouse\u2019s affair, tell them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you just aren\u2019t in love with your spouse anymore, be honest about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Your spouse deserves justification for your decision to divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Decide when you want a divorce. Do you want to wait until after the holidays? Do you want to wait until your children have finished the school year? Do you want to wait until after you finish your kitchen remodel?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Decide what you want the timeline to look like so that you and your spouse can prepare for it together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Decide what you want to do in the meantime.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Do you want to stay in the house together for ease of communication during the process?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Do you want to move out or for your spouse to move out?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Set expectations, and tell your spouse how you\u2019d like them met.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can say all of these things to your spouse at once and let them respond afterward, or you can discuss each point in the outline one at a time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The important thing is to put everything out there that is important to you, especially when you want to <a href=\"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/divorcing-narcissist\/\" data-lasso-id=\"414\">ask for a divorce from a narcissist<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But, make sure that the content is honest and covers all of the questions you expect your spouse will ask.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">How To Say It Respectfully<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Speaking respectfully to your spouse may be difficult during the divorce conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>After all, you probably have a lot of emotions running through your body.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If your partner had an affair, didn\u2019t meet your expectations in a significant way, or isn\u2019t treating you well, it\u2019ll be easy to let anger guide your conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But resist the urge to shout or accuse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Instead, follow your outline that you prepared.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Despite how much you may want to scream or even throw something during the conversation it will be best for you to maintain your composure.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"800\" height=\"500\" src=\"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/frustrating-divorce-conversation.jpg\" alt=\"picture of a frustrating divorce conversation between a couple\" class=\"wp-image-1409\" srcset=\"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/frustrating-divorce-conversation.jpg 800w, https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/frustrating-divorce-conversation-300x188.jpg 300w, https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/frustrating-divorce-conversation-768x480.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<p>Remember to describe your feelings about the relationship rather than accusing your spouse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is your chance to be honest with your spouse about the state of your relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you want them to respect your thoughts and feelings, they deserve the same respect that you do, even if they have deeply hurt you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Remaining calm during the conversation may be tough, but it\u2019s a surefire way to show your spouse respect and make your divorce easier in the long run.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But, being respectful doesn\u2019t mean disregarding your personal goals for the divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you\u2019ve made your intentions clear to your spouse\u2014especially about what you\u2019d like to do during the divorce process \u2014 and they contest or discount you, stand up for yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Respecting your spouse during the process is just as important as respecting yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">How To Get the Divorce Conversation Started<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>One of the most critical elements of a successful divorce conversation is also the most important element of initiating it&#8230; honesty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Don\u2019t beat around the bush.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When you and your spouse sit down to have \u201cthe Talk,\u201d you need to come right out and tell them, \u201cI want a divorce.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Avoid the temptation of prefaces and false starts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Your spouse will likely see your preface of \u201cI love you, but\u2026\u201d or \u201cI\u2019ll always care about you, but\u2026\u201d as in-genuine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Writing &#8220;I want a divorce&#8221; down as the first on your outline will help you commit to saying it first.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Practicing saying &#8220;I want a divorce&#8221; and the rest of your outline will help you feel more prepared and confident, which, in turn, will empower you to jump right into the conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Practice saying the most challenging part out loud, in the mirror, or to your supporter. \u201cI want a divorce.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>While you\u2019ll get the most utility out of in-person practice, even saying it over the phone or during a video call will help you own your words and gather the courage to say them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You likely have some sort of socially ingrained stigma against divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Unfortunately, this is especially true if you\u2019re a woman.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Repeating the phrase will not only make it easier to say it during \u201cthe Talk,\u201d it\u2019ll help you internalize that your situation is common, normal, and acceptable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Which it is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>While the best way to start the conversation is to come right out with it, practice will improve your confidence and empower you to say what you mean without waffling or stalling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"4\">What To Do After You Had \u201cthe Talk\u201d<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>While it\u2019s arguably one of the hardest parts of the divorce process, you\u2019ll feel some degree of relief once \u201cthe Talk\u201d is over.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"800\" height=\"500\" src=\"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/relief-after-divorce-conversation.jpg\" alt=\"picture of a woman and man after a divorce talk\" class=\"wp-image-1410\" srcset=\"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/relief-after-divorce-conversation.jpg 800w, https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/relief-after-divorce-conversation-300x188.jpg 300w, https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/relief-after-divorce-conversation-768x480.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<p>The first thing to do is reflect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Return to your journal or do another brain dump to help you process your post-talk emotions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Give your partner space to reflect as well, but make a plan to discuss the divorce again before you leave your talk space.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Set a date and time, and tell your spouse what you\u2019d like to discuss next time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Some necessary points to discuss at the beginning of the divorce process are:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>Will you be able going with an uncontested or contested divorce\n<ul>\n<li>If contested, what attorney will you be using<\/li>\n<li>If uncontested, will you be using an <a href=\"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/best-online-divorce-service\/\" data-lasso-id=\"413\">online divorce website<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li><li>Each party\u2019s desired custody arrangement, if you have children<\/li><li>When and how you\u2019re going to tell your children about the divorce<\/li><li>Who is going to take care of the pets<\/li><li>What each party would like done with your shared assets\n<ul>\n<li>Your home<\/li>\n<li>Your cars<\/li>\n<li>Jointly owned real estate<\/li>\n<li>Tangible property\n<ul>\n<li>Furniture, valuables, appliances, and kitchenware, for example<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Whether you\u2019d each like to retain an attorney to help with the proceedings<\/li>\n<li>Whether you\u2019d like to take your case to court or mediation<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>While you and your partner may not have answers right away or agree on these items, begin discussing them honestly and calmly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Don\u2019t talk about them until you and your spouse both have answers to all of these questions. This will help you avoid unnecessary conflict.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If one of you has chosen to move out of your shared home, ask your spouse for help packing if you want it, and offer help to your spouse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They may say no, but you should respect their decision either way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>After you and your spouse have children, you need to make a joint plan to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/better-divorce\/202005\/dread-telling-your-kids-about-your-divorce-heres-how\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" data-lasso-id=\"405\">tell them about the divorce<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s essential to stay on the same page, show a united front, and support your children in any way they need during the transition.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Consider enrolling them in counseling during this turbulent time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Most importantly, prepare yourself for a life without your spouse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Consider taking up a new hobby to begin living a more individual lifestyle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This could be the first time you\u2019ll be living alone, so talk to your supporter or counselor about how to prepare.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-affiliate-plugin-lasso\"><div id=\"lasso-anchor-id-9584-23649\" class=\"lasso-container\">\n    <!-- LASSO DISPLAY BOX (https:\/\/getlasso.co) -->\n\t<div class=\"lasso-display lasso-splash lasso-url-goto-online-therapy-1 \">\n\n\t\t<!-- BADGE -->\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"lasso-badge\">\n\t\t\t\tWhat We Recommend\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\n\t\t<!-- LASSO TITLE, PRICE, DESC, AND IMAGE -->\n\t\t<div class=\"lasso-box-1\">\n\t\t\t<a class=\"lasso-image\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/goto-online-therapy-1\/\" data-lasso-box-trackable=\"true\" data-lasso-id=\"9584\" data-lasso-name=\"Online Therapy That Works - Start Getting Happier Now!\" title=\"Online Therapy That Works - Start Getting Happier Now!\" rel=\"nofollow noopener sponsored\">\n\t\t\t\t<img src=\"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/online-therapy-logo-lasso.webp\" height=\"500\" width=\"500\" loading=\"lazy\" alt=\"Online Therapy That Works - Start Getting Happier Now!\">\n\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n\t\t<!-- BUTTONS -->\n\t\t<div class=\"lasso-box-2\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"lasso-title\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/goto-online-therapy-1\/\" data-lasso-box-trackable=\"true\" data-lasso-id=\"9584\" data-lasso-name=\"Online Therapy That Works - Start Getting Happier Now!\" title=\"Online Therapy That Works - Start Getting Happier Now!\" rel=\"nofollow noopener sponsored\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\tOnline Therapy That Works - Start Getting Happier Now!\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"clear\"><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"lasso-description\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<p>Considering a divorce can really take an emotional toll on even the strongest people.<\/p><p>If you are in need of therapy with both privacy and convenience, we recommend Online-Therapy.com. Their incredible service gives you access to instant professional help, on any device, wherever you are in the world.<\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<a class=\"lasso-button-1\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/goto-online-therapy-1\/\" data-lasso-box-trackable=\"true\" data-lasso-id=\"9584\" data-lasso-name=\"Online Therapy That Works - Start Getting Happier Now!\" title=\"Online Therapy That Works - Start Getting Happier Now!\" rel=\"nofollow noopener sponsored\">\n\t\t\t\tVisit Online-Therapy\t\t\t<\/a>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\n\t\t\t<div class=\"lasso-end\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"lasso-disclosure\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span>We earn a commission if you make a purchase, at no additional cost to you.<\/span>\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"lasso-date\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"5\">FAQs<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Besides wondering how to ask for a divorce, you\u2019re going to have to ask yourself numerous questions during the divorce process.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Asking your spouse for a divorce requires self-reflection, as does the rest of the divorce process.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Before you get the ball rolling, explore these frequently asked questions and reflect upon how they\u2019ll impact your divorce conversation and your expectations for the proceedings.<\/p>\n\n\n<section id='' class='helpie-faq accordions faq-toggle ' data-collection='' data-pagination='0' data-search='0' data-pagination-enabled='0'><article class=\"accordion \"><div class='helpie-faq-row'><div class='helpie-faq-col helpie-faq-col-12' ><ul><li class=\"accordion__item \"><div class=\"accordion__header \" data-id=\"post-10286\" data-item=\"\" style=\"background:transparent;\" data-tags=\"\"><div class=\"accordion__title\">Is Asking For a Divorce Over Phone or Text Okay?<\/div><\/div><div class=\"accordion__body\" style=\"background:transparent;\">Asking for a divorce over text is unilaterally discouraged, just like asking for any other life-altering change over text.\r\n\r\nTexting is impersonal and gives your spouse the ability to misinterpret your meaning or simply ignore the request.\r\n\r\nPhone calls require a more nuanced consideration. Ask yourself the following questions before having \u201cthe Talk\u201d over the phone:\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li>Does my spouse live in town or the same state?<\/li>\r\n \t<li>Is my spouse accessible and safe to see?<\/li>\r\n \t<li>Do my spouse and I live in the same house?<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\nIf the answers to any of these questions are \u201cYes,\u201d you need to have the conversation in person.\r\n\r\nIf your spouse moved out of the state during your separation, works out of the state on long-term contracts, or if your spouse refuses to see you in person, a phone call would be acceptable.\r\n\r\nIf your spouse is abusive or unsafe to be around, a phone call may be a safe option. But, make sure you\u2019ve taken steps to protect yourself after the phone call.\r\n\r\nIn most cases, an in-person conversation is ideal for asking for a divorce.<\/div><\/li><li class=\"accordion__item \"><div class=\"accordion__header \" data-id=\"post-10287\" data-item=\"\" style=\"background:transparent;\" data-tags=\"\"><div class=\"accordion__title\">Do I Need To Document Asking For a Divorce?<\/div><\/div><div class=\"accordion__body\" style=\"background:transparent;\">If you feel your spouse will deny your request for a divorce during an in-person conversation or refuse to acknowledge that you would like a divorce, you need to document the conversation.\r\n\r\nIf you feel you need to, create a signature line at the bottom of your conversation outline.\r\n\r\nAsk your spouse to sign it after you finish having \u201cthe Talk.\u201d\r\n\r\nIt may sound insensitive or even silly, but you want to be overprotected if you predict that your spouse will try to create a messy divorce.\r\n\r\nWhether or not your spouse agrees to sign, send a copy of your outline in the body of an email (not as an attachment) and turn on delivery receipts.\r\n\r\nYou can even send a letter documenting the divorce conversation by certified mail with a required signature.\r\n\r\nWhile these tactics may sound manipulative, only you know if they\u2019re necessary.\r\n\r\nSuppose you have any suspicion that your spouse may ignore your request for a divorce or that they\u2019ll make the divorce difficult in any way, document everything, without exception.\r\n\r\nThis is especially true <a href=\"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/divorcing-narcissist\/\">when divorcing a narcissistic spouse<\/a>.<\/div><\/li><li class=\"accordion__item \"><div class=\"accordion__header \" data-id=\"post-10288\" data-item=\"\" style=\"background:transparent;\" data-tags=\"\"><div class=\"accordion__title\">Should I Voice or Video Record Asking For a Divorce?<\/div><\/div><div class=\"accordion__body\" style=\"background:transparent;\">This answer is similar to the answer above. If you think your spouse will deny having \u201cthe Talk\u201d after the fact, consider recording the encounter. In all likelihood, if you feel like you need to record the conversation, you\u2019ll have to do it clandestinely.\r\n\r\nTurn on the voice recorder or video camera feature on your smartphone and keep it out while you have the conversation.\r\n\r\nIf you have the conversation over the phone, purchase a handheld recorder (or use another smart device, like a tablet or a spare cell phone), place the call on speaker, and record it.\r\n\r\nIf you feel you need to record the conversation, try to find a way to ask your spouse to verbally identify themself while you\u2019re recording.\r\n\r\nAsking where they want their mail sent during the divorce proceedings could provide an address that can be used in court for identification if needed.\r\n\r\nWhile these measures will hopefully be unnecessary during your divorce, do what you need to do to protect yourself during the legal proceedings.\r\n\r\nKeep in mind, in a lot of states you will need to let your spouse know that you are recording the conversation, so this can get tricky.<\/div><\/li><li class=\"accordion__item \"><div class=\"accordion__header \" data-id=\"post-10289\" data-item=\"\" style=\"background:transparent;\" data-tags=\"\"><div class=\"accordion__title\">What If I Fear For My Safety When Asking For a Divorce?<\/div><\/div><div class=\"accordion__body\" style=\"background:transparent;\">If you fear that your safety may be in jeopardy when asking for a divorce from an abusive or <a href=\"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/married-to-narcissist\/\">narcissistic spouse<\/a>, seek legal help right away.\r\n\r\nA lawyer versed in domestic violence law will be able to help you make an action plan for safely divorcing your spouse.\r\n\r\nSeek legal help before contacting law enforcement so that you have an advocate when communicating with your local law enforcement agency.\r\n\r\nIf possible, ask your attorney to communicate with law enforcement on your behalf to convey the magnitude of your endangerment.\r\n\r\nIf you\u2019re currently in an abusive marriage, make your supportive person aware of the situation so that they can act accordingly.\r\n\r\nInvolve them and your attorney in your safety plan if needed.\r\n\r\nIf they don\u2019t need to be physically involved, make them aware of the plan in writing.\r\n\r\nIf you\u2019re unsafe and you feel your partner will violently retaliate upon being asked for a divorce, solve one problem at a time.\r\n\r\nSeek legal advice and get yourself to a safe location (and stay there) before considering asking for a divorce. Your safety is priority number one.<\/div><\/li><li class=\"accordion__item \"><div class=\"accordion__header \" data-id=\"post-10290\" data-item=\"\" style=\"background:transparent;\" data-tags=\"\"><div class=\"accordion__title\">Can I Just File For Divorce Without Asking?<\/div><\/div><div class=\"accordion__body\" style=\"background:transparent;\">In most cases, divorce proceedings require participation from both spouses.\r\n\r\nMost states require your spouse to be served with official divorce paperwork in order to move forward.\r\n\r\nIf your spouse is unreachable, you must make and document extensive efforts to reach them.\r\n\r\nPerform and record calls to their family and friends, send mail to their last known address, and ask law enforcement local to your spouse\u2019s last known address if they\u2019ve encountered your spouse.\r\n\r\nDocument all correspondence and attempts to locate your spouse.\r\n\r\nIf you can\u2019t find your spouse after an extensive and good-faith effort, you may be able to file for divorce using service by publication.\r\n\r\nThis tactic requires you to advertise in a newspaper near your spouse\u2019s last known address (or online) that you intend to divorce them.\r\n\r\nWhile the court system is reticent to allow service by publication, documentation of your extensive efforts can sway the court in your favor.\r\n\r\nService by publication should be considered only as a last resort.\r\n\r\nMore importantly <a href=\"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/states\/\">each state has different divorce laws<\/a> that you will want to familiarize yourself with.<\/div><\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div><\/article><\/section>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Final Thoughts<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>How to ask for a divorce is possibly the most tumultuous part of the divorce process, as it involves inner struggle, fear, and a range of emotions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Make sure to adequately prepare yourself for \u201cthe Talk,\u201d make a plan for having the conversation, and communicate openly with your spouse throughout the process.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>While this may be the end of your marriage, it won\u2019t be the end of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You have so much to look forward to in the near future, including getting back out there and dating again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Just make sure you <a href=\"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/dating-during-divorce\/\" data-lasso-id=\"7433\">don't start dating too soon<\/a>!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Asking for a divorce is the first step towards healing from an unhealthy relationship and moving forward with a better version of YOU!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Are You Ready? | Before the Talk | Telling Your Spouse | After the Talk | FAQs The prospect of asking for a divorce from your spouse can be nerve-racking. But, remember that you\u2019re not alone. According to the CDC, every year over 745,000 divorces are filed in the United States. Whether you\u2019re done staying &#8230; <a title=\"How To Ask For a Divorce, When You&#8217;re Nervous (But Ready)\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/how-to-ask-for-a-divorce\/\" aria-label=\"More on How To Ask For a Divorce, When You&#8217;re Nervous (But Ready)\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":20,"featured_media":1377,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"none","_seopress_titles_title":"How To Ask For a Divorce When You&#039;re Nervous (But Ready)","_seopress_titles_desc":"Asking for a divorce is nerve-racking. This is a guide for you learn how to ask for a divorce and be ready for &quot;the Talk&quot;.","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false},"categories":[116],"tags":[181],"featured_image_src":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/how-to-ask-for-a-divorce-600x400.jpg","featured_image_src_square":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/how-to-ask-for-a-divorce-600x500.jpg","author_info":{"display_name":"Lauren Cook-McKay","author_link":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/author\/laurendivorceanswers-com\/"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1372"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/20"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1372"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1372\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10978,"href":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1372\/revisions\/10978"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1377"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1372"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1372"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1372"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}