{"id":11144,"date":"2022-08-04T20:21:17","date_gmt":"2022-08-05T01:21:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/?p=11144"},"modified":"2022-08-05T09:09:10","modified_gmt":"2022-08-05T14:09:10","slug":"no-sex-drive-husband-is-mad","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/no-sex-drive-husband-is-mad\/","title":{"rendered":"I Have No Sex Drive And My Husband Is Mad. What Can I Do?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

A decrease in libido can lead to many marital problems, from psychological to physical. Sex releases tension, lowers blood pressure, increases positive moods, and balances hormones, among many other positive factors. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is more common for women to experience a lack of sex drive at some point in their lives than men. While few studies prove women show lower libidos, higher levels of testosterone<\/a> may be responsible for higher sex drives. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although you want to feel sexual desire towards your husband, something could be blocking you. Try not to blame yourself, as many factors contribute to a decreased sex drive. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

From hormonal to emotional, and maybe even physical, your lack of drive may not be due to a lack of love; it may not even be your fault. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Questions to Ask Yourself<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Regardless of the cause of your decreased sex drive, the best way to find solutions is to quit blaming yourself and be honest and open with your partner. But how can you be honest if you don't know what's wrong? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Explaining what you don't know could help you work through this issue together, creating a stronger emotional bond along the way. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

While many sexual problems require a doctor or therapist to help you sort through, you may just need to sit down with yourself and ask questions. Becoming curious about your sex drive can help you find answers just beyond reach. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Are You Hormonal?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Have you been experiencing irregular periods, vaginal dryness, weight gain, breast tenderness, and even acne? While these may seem like normal PMS (premenstrual syndrome) symptoms, they're also signs of a hormonal imbalance. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hormonal imbalances<\/a> are when your body releases too much or too little of something. The higher your sex hormones are, the more desire for sex you'll feel. If your body is releasing fewer sex hormones than normal, your libido will go down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Next time you're at the doctor's, ask him to test your hormone levels, specifically testosterone, estrogen, and progesterone. Your doctor can search for underlying problems and better assist you in your sexual struggles. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Have You Experienced Trauma in Your Life?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD<\/a>, is a type of anxiety disorder that stems from past traumatic events. Have you felt unusually depressed, experienced nightmares, had difficulty sleeping, or suffered from chronic pain lately? You may be experiencing some form of this condition.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

PTSD stores memories in a different part of your brain than everyday memories and releases uncomfortable hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol when something triggers these memories, consciously or subconsciously. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If your trauma is related to sex, then this could be the reason for your decreased sex drive<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But why is the lack of sexual desire happening now when it's never happened before? PTSD can cause many problems at any time, especially if you've been sexually assaulted<\/a> without an apparent cause. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

While there may not be recognizable triggers in your current life that redirect your mind to the past, it doesn't mean triggers don\u2019t affect you. Something as small as a particular smell, tone of voice, or a vibe you get from someone else can trigger PTSD reactions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Are You Depressed?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Depression and feeling depressed are different. If you're sad, you'll experience overwhelming sadness temporarily, but depression<\/a> involves a low mood making it difficult to engage in routine tasks such as getting out of bed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Are you consistently sad? How long have you felt a low mood? Do you know what triggered it? Depression makes it hard to focus on anything and can affect your eating habits, sleeping patterns, and relationships. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A depressive disorder (major, melancholy, bipolar, or seasonal [SAD]) can eventually change the brain if it goes too long without treatment. Sometimes, hormonal imbalances contribute to depression, in which you lack serotonin and dopamine. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

While sex increases feel-good hormones, it's temporary unless you engage in sexual activity regularly. Although it's challenging to engage in an activity you're not interested in regardless of your mental health, depression links to low libido because of hormonal imbalances. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Have You Lacked Self-Care?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Everyone needs self-care and love, whether it\u2019s putting makeup on or spoiling yourself with a tasty treat or expensive clothing. The fact is, if you're not feeling good about yourself, how can you focus on enjoying sex? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A lack of self-care usually correlates with low self-esteem, stress, and lower confidence. The contributing factor leading to the lack of self-care may stem from a mental or even physical condition. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

While the solution to this problem is easier said than done, self-care is important to maintaining positive and healthy relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How Was Your Relationship Before Your Libido Decreased?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Remember when you first got together with your husband and were in the honeymoon stage of your relationship? You must have had more sex than you ever had in your life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As you became familiar and comfortable with each other, your sexual activity may have slowed, and so did your desire. Ask yourself: what's different now? Have you fallen into a slump? Do you do the same things for each other as before? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Too often, marriages fall apart because people get comfortable and don't make much effort to grow the relationship any further. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The lack of your sex drive could simply be that you know your husband too well, or worse: you don\u2019t know him at all. People change over time, and a reevaluation of your relationship could help increase your sex drive <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Further Reading:<\/strong> Reasons why you should leave a sexless marriage<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ways to Increase Your Sex-Drive<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

After you realize or understand why your sex drive has decreased, you can begin to solve the problem. Keep in mind that sex is supposed to be enjoyable. don't engage in anything you don\u2019t want to do or are uncomfortable with. It is more common for women to lack sex drive than men, so you could just be experiencing a difference in preference.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Make Sure You're Happy With Yourself<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

It's super important that you're making yourself happy. Whether you spend time reading a good book, engaging with your pets, or being with people who make you feel good, happiness with yourself will allow you to make others happy as well. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes the solution to low sex drive is making yourself look and feel better. As comfortable and addicting as it is to lounge around in pajamas all day, you could try on an old dress that you haven't worn in a while, or get some vitamin D. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some more things you can do to make yourself feel better are:<\/p>\n\n\n\n