{"id":1075,"date":"2021-08-20T14:01:52","date_gmt":"2021-08-20T18:01:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/?p=1075"},"modified":"2022-07-28T09:50:34","modified_gmt":"2022-07-28T14:50:34","slug":"married-to-narcissist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/divorceanswers.com\/married-to-narcissist\/","title":{"rendered":"HELP! I Think I’m Married To A Narcissist? 55 Warning Signs To Lookout For"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Warning Signs You Married a Narcissist<\/a> | You ARE Married To a Narcissist<\/a> | FAQs<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

They say that “to be wed is to know bliss<\/em>“, right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But what happens if you find yourself married to a narcissist?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may be one of those people who found themselves unlucky in love\u2014and chained to a narcissist in unholy matrimony.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are many different ways to spot a narcissist and one of their telltales signs is… they will eventually reveal their true colors.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And when that happens, it may be too late and you will have to face the tough decision of either dealing with them as-is (because they won't change) or divorcing your narcissist spouse<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If your partners behavior is under suspicion for narcissistic patterns, be on the lookout for these 55 warning signs you married a narcissist..<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Narcissist Spouse Warning Signs<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

1. Grandiose Persona<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

One of the top ways to spot a narcissist is to look for the grandiose persona. In a narcissist\u2019s mind, they are better, smarter, more powerful and more deserving than everyone around them\u2014including you. They waste no time in aiming to impress anyone\u2019s path they cross.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. You begin to feel isolated<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

After all the marital bliss has settled and you move on in your lives as wedded partners, you may realize a shift. It may not happen immediately, but soon, you will begin to feel isolated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your partner will begin to isolate you from your friends and family. This will have devastating consequences on your mental health. They are incredible manipulators that can have you guessing why you were even friends to begin with.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. You Are Criticized<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Your narcissistic spouse will inevitably begin criticizing every move you make. They take a sick pleasure and causing you to second guess yourself and breed self-doubt. This is a control and manipulating mechanism that puts them in the driver\u2019s seat of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. They Even Criticize Your Childrearing<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

How disturbing is it to have your spouse judge how you raise your children? Narcissists will hit below the belt and even use the children to their leverage in arguments. Some narcissistic spouses may use their work habits as a way to negate taking care of the children as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Gaslighting Galore<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Gaslighting and narcissists go hand in hand. Things like \u201cOh stop, you\u2019re being paranoid\u201d and \u201cI never said that!\u201d when you know they did. Gaslighting is when they have you questioning your own sanity and reality<\/a>. This is very dangerous and the ultimate emotional abuse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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6. They Use Your Family Against You<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Narcissists seek an army in order to destroy. They will use your family in attempts to turn them against you. They can pass it off as \u201cconfiding\u201d in them as they complain about you to get the attention off of themselves. The mission? Get to them before you do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

7. They Love Your Jealousy<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Who would want<\/em> to make someone feel jealous? Narcissists. They get off on strategically putting you in situations to light up your jealousy flares. This strokes their egos and stokes your insecurities\u2014a dangerous combination.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

8. From Charm to Alarm<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

To sweep you off your feet, the narcissist will pull out all the stops to woo you. After you\u2019re married? Things begin to shift\u2014dramatically. They no longer feel the need to woo you as you are now their \u2018property\u2019. Compliments may only come out when you are in front of others when the \u2018show\u2019 goes on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

9. Jealous of the Children<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

If you had children with a narcissist, odds are you have had the conversation about time with the children versus time with your spouse. Narcissistic spouses argue that your attention need be more on them and not the children. They can become resentful of the attention they \u2018lose\u2019 to your child. This can also be the other way around where the narcissist focuses solely on the baby\u2014and not you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

10. Their Own Favorite Story<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Narcissists love<\/em> to dwell on how fantastic they see themselves (even if it is just to combat the crippling sense of insecurity). They will exaggerate their self-importance and ensure you and everyone else knows how amazing they are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

11. Never Settles for Less than the Best<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

A narcissist loves the finer things in life\u2014and for everyone to see that they have them. Outward image means a great deal to them and they will try to control how others see them. Their inner reality is shadowed by their need for external validation and attention.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

12. Social Media Star<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Many narcissists turn to social media to engage their external validation needs. They aim to get as many likes, comments and follows as possible to really flex those popularity wings. This promotion of self weens out their shortcomings in their own minds.<\/p>\n\n\n

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13. Their Needs First<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Needs being met should go both ways; however, for the narcissist, it is always<\/em> them first. They will not hesitate to take any situation and turn themselves into the victim. They use this manipulative mentality to control and ultimately get what they want.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

14. Takers Not Givers<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Narcissists focus on giving in the beginning in order to swoop you up\u2014but in the end, their main focus is getting what they need. And don\u2019t think it will shift back to you; they will ultimately leave you and your needs in the dust.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

15. Taking it Personally<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Narcissists take everything<\/em> personally\u2014to the point you will be beaten into silence. If you say anything they perceive as a threat, they will attack.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

16. Lack of Empathy<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Even when others are struggling, narcissists fail to notice. They are completely insensitive to others\u2014including their family and friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

17. Belittles Others<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

As in school children, narcissists are like bullies\u2014they build themselves up by breaking others down. They break down self-worth and piece their sense of grandiose together with your remains.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

18. Control Freak Alert<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Narcissists will try to control absolutely everything. They will control how you speak, move, think and act. They will do this until you no longer behave as your authentic self\u2014and they win.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

19. Never Wrong<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Narcissists cannot really comprehend the fact they have could be at fault for anything and will typically never apologize willingly.. They will shift the focus onto you and make you feel like you <\/em>are the narcissists (hello again, gaslighting!).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

20. Not Responsible for Anything<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Narcissists will not take responsibility or accountability for much of anything. They will somehow always turn the tables onto being yours and everyone else\u2019s fault. They are master manipulators at playing the victim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

21. Ticking Time Bomb<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Ever heard of narcissistic rage? That\u2019s a real thing. Due to their insecurities, they will wait in hiding to explode on anyone who should criticize them\u2014no matter how small a criticism. Narcissistic rage and manipulation will be the fallout from any perceived \u2018judgment\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n

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22. The Punisher<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Along with the rage, a narcissist's aim is to punish. You will be held responsible for your \u2018maltreatment\u2019 or a narcissist. This is a part of their manipulation tactic to completely control you\u2014and your behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

23. Broadcasting Their Generosity<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Narcissists need to control how the world views them. Therefore, when they do something nice for you or anyone else, you can be sure they will broadcast it for everyone to know just how amazing they are. No deed goes unposted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

24. Scene Creator<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

If you \u2018act up\u2019 in public according to a narcissist, they will not hesitate to put you in your (public) place. Known for creating a scene, narcissists are ruthless in their pursuit to showcase themselves as the victim and you as the wrongdoer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

25. Users<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Narcissists will use people and throw them away like yesterday\u2019s garbage. They get what they need from you, boast it in, then you are discarded. Spouses are included here too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

26. Cannot Trust<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Narcissists believe that no one can fully be trusted. This is ironic being they are typically the ones who cannot be trusted. Narcissistic spouses will never even trust their own spouses\u2014no matter how long they\u2019ve been together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

27. Unfaithfully<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Being that narcissists are desperate for incessant adoration from others, you can rest assured your narcissistic spouse will not stay faithful to you. They will even convince you that somehow it was your fault because you did something that drove them into the arms\u2014or bed\u2014of another person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

28. Hypocrisy is Their Middle Name<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

No matter the case, you are not allowed to do what they are. Narcissists have a double standard they live their lives by, and even if they do something, you cannot. That\u2019s just the way it is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

29. Threatening Nature<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Narcissists will turn to veiled threats if their control and manipulation attempts do not work on you. If you dare challenge them in their stance, they turn threatening\u2014and quickly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

30. Vengeance Be Thy Name<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t think for a moment that narcissists will forget to punish you\u2014or ever give up. Narcissistic partners will seek vengeance upon you or anyone who judges or questions them. Don\u2019t even think about:<\/p>\n\n\n\n