What Is Walkaway Wife Syndrome? 10 Warning Signs To Look For…

Not all divorces look the same. Some couples go down in a hail of fire, while others simply grow out of love and mutually drift apart. 

One of the most upsetting types of divorce is when one partner succumbs to walkaway wife syndrome. 

This occurrence is just as sad as it sounds but stems from a partner who feels unappreciated, neglected, or abused. 

Walkaway Wife Definition

A walkaway wife is a wife who is getting ready to leave their partner. With walkaway wife syndrome, the other partner (typically the husband) does not see this coming. 

Walkaway wife syndrome is common in abusive and neglectful relationships but can also occur in marriages that are just unhappy and unfulfilling for her. 

Walkaway wife syndrome can also apply to men and husbands, but it is far more cos women, as they typically feel unheard and unappreciated by their husbands. With walkaway wife syndrome, the woman emotionally divorces her spouse. 

She detaches herself from the marriage and begins to see herself as an individual again, even though she has not yet left. This phenomenon is known as emotional divorce

The Left-behind Spouse

The spouse who is left is known as the left-behind spouse. This spouse often feels blindsided and angry, even if the warning signs were there and they just didn’t see them. 

The left-behind spouse has to take time during and after the legal divorce process to detach emotionally from their marriage

Their emotional divorce usually takes place after the legal divorce goes through. But the walkaway wife will complete the emotional divorce before filing for legal divorce. 

Walkaway Wife Warning Signs

Below are ten signs that your wife has walkaway wife syndrome and may be gearing up to leave you and file for divorce. 

Some warning signs may seem innocuous; a new hobby or hanging with friends, but context is crucial. And a combination of several of these warning signs indicates your wife likely plans to leave you. 

Consider your wife’s recent behavior and how it’s changed while reading about these ten warning signs. 

1. She Stops Complaining

If your wife complains about some of your behavior, asking you to change certain things to make her more comfortable or content, this is a spouse who wants to make the marriage work. But if your wife used to complain and suddenly stops, this is bad. It may show she has given up. 

You may feel relieved that she let it go, but this indicates she is withdrawing from the relationship. If you refuse to change your behavior, she will feel like there is no longer any point in asking you. 

The sudden drop-off of complaining or what many people see as “nagging” indicates she is losing hope. It is often the first and most prominent warning sign. She may beg you to change one day but then drop the subject the next. 

Partners who want to be in a successful relationship will express their feelings and discomforts, and the other partner will try to adjust or compromise to make their partner happier. 

When she stops expressing these discomforts, it may be because she believes you'll never try and be better for her. 

2. Lack of Sex or Enthusiasm for Sex

There are many reasons sex can stop in a relationship. One or both partners may feel self-conscious or lose their sex drive as they age. But it can also be another warning sign of walkaway wife syndrome. 

If your wife used to initiate or look forward to sex but now treats it like a chore or avoids it altogether, they are emotionally withdrawing from the marriage. A lack of sex is often one of several warning signs. 

If the sex stops, consider if there are other warning signs of a walkaway wife you may be missing. Along with sex, there will likely also be a drop in physical affection. She may stop kissing you in the morning or rubbing your back when you sit next to one another. 

Emotional withdrawal often goes hand in hand with physical withdrawal, even though she isn’t walking out the door yet. 

Read More: I Have No Sex Drive And My Husband Is Mad. What Can I Do?

3. She Is More Silent

This warning sign is especially applicable if you have a talkative, expressive wife who used to engage with you often. Has she stopped asking how your day was? Does she still say hello when you walk in the door? 

While these things may seem small, they’re indications of withdrawal from the relationship. It’s also a bad sign if your wife is unreceptive to having a conversation. If she gives you one-word answers, nods, or doesn’t respond, she could be in walkaway wife syndrome. 

While people can become quieter for several reasons, such as stress or depression, this warning sign will only apply to you, her partner. 

If she seems to be herself with other people but goes silent around you, it’s likely because she doesn’t want to engage in a conversation that could lead to a fight. 

Read More: What Is Emotional Abandonment In Marriage?

4. Outsiders Take Notice

If friends, family, and even strangers comment on how you don’t treat your wife right, it can be a warning sign if she doesn’t complain or seem bothered.

Typically, outsiders will take notice if you’re neglectful as a husband. If people point this out and she seems like she doesn’t care, she may be getting ready to leave you. There is no concrete way to know this, but you might need to ask yourself some hard questions. 

5. She Acts Cold and Distant

Does your wife move to another room when you come home? Maybe she dismisses your questions and conversation. Does she snap at you for seemingly no reason? These are all warning signs of walkaway wife syndrome. 

As she emotionally prepares to leave you, she will likely develop feelings of resentment resulting in micro-aggressions. She won’t come out and say she doesn’t want to be with you, as this would not qualify as walkaway wife syndrome, but she will behave coldly and even cruelly. 

If this behavior is uncharacteristic and unwarranted to you, she may be getting ready to leave you. In a way, this is also a technique for emotionally detaching herself from the marriage. 

By acting cold and distant, she can avoid a situation where you may be kind and loving, making her question her decision or feel guilty. Instead, she slowly pushes you away. It’s subtle, but it’s there. So when she finally leaves, she’s achieved complete emotional detachment from you. 

6. Improved Physical Appearance

Another warning sign of walkaway wife syndrome is when she starts caring more about her physical appearance and improves it. It doesn’t mean your wife was unkempt before, but it means she starts putting in noticeably more effort. 

She may start going to the gym more, eating healthier, wearing makeup more often, buying new clothes, or changing her hair. While innocuous in a healthy marriage, in a failing marriage, these things can indicate that she has walkaway wife syndrome. 

She improves her appearance in preparation to leave you and start a new life. She may even be thinking about finding a new partner. That may be especially true if you have let yourself go while she maintains her appearance. 

Also, if she’s buying new clothes and gets a new haircut but has no desire to show it off to you, doesn’t ask your opinion, and doesn't care if you comment, these physical changes are likely not for you. 

She’s either preparing to re-enter the dating scene or is trying to make herself more confident and happy before exiting the marriage. 

7. Spends More Time Out

If she starts hanging out with friends more often, going out frequently, and generally spending time away from home, that can be a warning sign. Spending time with friends and family is usually her trying to establish a solid support system to get her through the divorce process. 

She’s also becoming an individual again, rather than a wife. But even if she isn't seeing friends or family, going out more is troublesome. 

Is she running tons of errands that seem to take her away from the house all day? Does she make excuses to leave the house? 

She likely feels unhappy around you and your home as it’s a constant reminder of the marriage from which she wants to walk away. 

8. Unwillingness to Work on the Relationship

One of the worst and most heart-breaking signs your wife has walkaway wife syndrome is if she refuses to try and work on the relationship. 

If you begin to worry about your relationship and suggest counseling or communication, and she refuses, you have likely already lost her. A walkaway wife has already detached herself from the marriage, so she has no desire to try and fix the relationship. 

The point here is that she’s already made up her mind, and no open conversations or marriage counseling will bring her back from her decision. When your wife reaches this point, there is little you can do to salvage the marriage. 

Counseling and open communication should occur before your wife completely detaches from you emotionally. Search online for counselors and therapists in your local area that may be able to help you. If there are no viable local options where you are, many online counselors can help you remotely via phone or video chat. 

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9. New Interests or Dreams

This warning indicates she’s ready to start a new life away from you. New hobbies and interests show a desire for her to become an independent person and rediscover who she is without you. 

An even stronger indication that she’s getting ready to leave is if she's suddenly imagining and planning a new future. She may return to school, pursue a different career or start a passion project. 

Not only can a hobby or new direction in life be something to look forward to and rely on after the divorce, but it’s also an excuse to spend less time at home or not be around you as much. 

It’s perfectly normal for your wife to pick up a new hobby or return to school and include you in these conversations or activities. But combined with other warning signs, it might ring alarm bells in your head. 

10. You Feel a Shift

While all these warning signs may indicate walkaway wife syndrome, you should also trust your gut. Even if you don’t see these warning signs, if you can tell something is going on with your wife and your relationship changes, try an open dialogue with your partner. 

Unfortunately, most women who enter walkaway wife syndrome won’t want to return to things as they were, as in their minds, the relationship and marriage are already over. 

But if you love your wife and want to make your marriage work, it’s always worth opening the conversation and trying to communicate. If things feel different or you sense something has changed, but you can’t pinpoint it, you may be looking at walkaway wife syndrome. 

This warning sign is one of the hardest to articulate, but many left-behind husbands say they felt something change before the divorce but didn’t realize what was happening and did not try to find out. 

What You Can Do

The entire idea behind walkaway wife syndrome is that the marriage is already over in her mind. So at this point, there is not much you can do. She has assessed her priorities and determined that she wants her life to change. 

If you’re determined to try and save your marriage, the best way to do this is through marriage counseling, open conversations, and the five love languages

But it cannot be stressed enough: it is exceedingly difficult to save a relationship once a spouse has walkaway wife syndrome. All marriages can benefit from honesty, counseling, and love languages, but the worst marriages often cannot be saved, even with valiant efforts. 

Honest Conversations

Honesty in any relationship is crucial, especially concerning feelings. If you and your wife do not talk openly about your feelings, try opening up and asking her how she feels. 

For walkaway wives, it’s likely too late, but you may be able to tip the scales back in your favor and give her hope that you care about her emotional well-being and contentment in the marriage

Counseling

Some people see marriage counseling as a death sentence for a relationship, but this couldn't be further from the truth. Marriage counseling can save marriages on the rocks. But successful counseling requires both parties to be emotionally and physically present to fix their problems. 

Someone with walkaway wife syndrome will not be willing to put effort into marriage counseling. If she says no to counseling, there is likely no hope for the relationship. 

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The Five Love Languages

Lastly, if you feel your wife pulling away and want to prevent her from leaving, you can try to focus on the five love languages and how they fit into your relationship. 

However, if she wants to leave, you must accept that you cannot stop her. But if she’s still on the edge of deciding to leave you, using the five love languages could sway her to want to work on the marriage before leaving. 

Below is a brief overview of the five languages. Consider what your wife’s love language is, and try to focus on improving your expression of love in that area. 

1. Physical Affection

Physical affection can be any physical touching, from handholding to hugging to a shoulder rub. If your wife gave more physical affection than you did or often asked for more physical affection verbally or with body language, she may feel deprived and unloved. 

2. Acts of Service

Acts of service are when you do kind things for your partner and put in the effort to care for them and make their life easier. It could be bringing them coffee in bed, taking the trash out, or brushing snow off their car. Acts of service take time, effort, and thought to complete. 

3. Words of Affirmation

Words of affirmation are saying things to your partner that make them feel good. It can be a compliment on their appearance or personality or a proclamation of love and appreciation. 

4. Receiving Gifts

Some people are sentimental with objects, so they feel most loved when their partner goes out of their way to buy or bring them a thoughtful gift. It could be something simple like a bagel or extravagant like a car. 

5. Quality Time

People who value quality time as their love language want to be the center of your attention. That could mean one-on-one dinners or activities. Essentially, spending time with them shows your devotion more than anything. 

Final Thoughts

Someone with walkaway wife syndrome may find themselves fed up with their current situation. They’ve likely been belittled, ignored, taken for granted, and mistreated. 

Unfortunately, if you think your wife has walkaway wife syndrome, there is likely nothing you can do to salvage the marriage, as she’s reached the end of her rope and is ready to move on. Your best bet is to get help from a counselor or other professional.