Being in a relationship requires you to be vulnerable with your partner in several ways. You need to open yourself up to them and give them your trust.
However, insecurities can sometimes cause you to doubt your spouse.
If you find yourself doubting the authenticity of your spouse, you might think they are hiding something from you. You might even think they are cheating on you.
If that is the case, you might think that going through their phone is a good idea.
While going through your spouse’s phone could give you the answers you need, it is also a violation of trust. Additionally, you need to ask yourself the question, is it illegal to go through your spouse’s phone?
We will try to answer that question and more in the sections below. Keep in mind if you truly trust your partner, you will never need to go through their phone.
Is It Legal to Spy on Your Spouse in the United States?
We could discuss the morality of spying on your spouse all day, but ultimately we cannot tell you what is right and wrong. However, we can tell you what is legal and what is not. Federal law in the United States prohibits the interception of private electronic information.
Furthermore, it is illegal to hack into your spouse’s cell phone to steal text messages, emails, or social media messages. The only time this is legal is if your spouse has given you approval.
Will You Be Arrested for Going Through Your Spouse’s Phone?
While it is technically illegal to go through your spouse’s phone, you will not be arrested for it. Instead, the law is in place to ensure that stolen text messages are not admissible in court.
So, if you want to go through your spouse’s phone to get a better deal in your divorce, it is not possible. However, you can go through your spouse’s phone without facing any repercussions legally.
Should You Go Through Your Spouse’s Phone?
While you can legally get away with spying on your spouse’s texts and emails, should you? Is it immoral to spy on your spouse? We do not presume to be enlightened morally, but it is safe to say that it is immoral to spy on your partner.
However, despite the obvious answer that it is immoral to spy on your spouse, most people have done it. A survey in 2012 found that roughly two-thirds of participants have gone through their partner’s phone, without permission.
Another company in 2020 surveyed 1600 people in America between the ages of 15 and 55 to see if they have ever snooped through a partner’s phone.
The study found that 48% of women and 31% of men think that going through your spouse’s phone is ok. 60% of all participants believe that it is never ok to go through someone else’s phone, including a partner.
43% of people that admitted to going through a partner’s phone stated that they did not find any incriminating evidence against their spouse. 38% of people that admitted to snooping confessed that they broke up or got in a fight as a result of the spying.
So, should you go through your partner’s phone? We have to say that it is not a great idea. Not only are you breaking the trust of the person you are supposed to trust the most, but it is a violation of privacy.
Ultimately, you need to ask yourself, will snooping through your partner’s phone help your situation? Even if it confirms suspicions of cheating, it will not make you feel any better. If there is already that much distrust in your relationship, it might be time for it to end.
Why Would You Want to Go Through Your Spouse’s Phone?
Going through your partner’s phone might quickly put your insecurities to rest, but it is a sign of deeper issues in your relationship. As a result, you should try to figure out why you want to go through your partner’s phone.
Take a look in the mirror and figure out why you have these urges. You can then talk to your partner about them and figure out a solution.
You Could Have Trust Issues
Many people go through their partner’s phone not because they did something in particular, but because they have trust issues in general. Trust is the foundation of every relationship. You cannot have a romantic relationship with someone if you do not trust them emotionally, mentally, and physically.
The trust you get from being with someone is not something that is built in a day. You do not have it as soon as you enter the relationship. Instead, it is something that is built over many years.
It is also important to remember that there is a difference between curiosity and distrust. Everyone is curious about other people’s conversations with other people, but acting on those curiosities is wrong.
Insecurity
We talked about this a bit above, but insecurity is one of the leading causes of snooping. If you are insecure, you are more likely to suspect your partner of cheating.
Insecurity can be caused by many things, but many of them do not have anything to do with your relationship. Some people are inherently insecure, and as a result, they do not trust that their partner loves them. Even if your partner has done nothing to hurt your trust, insecurity can creep into your relationship.
As a result, before you do something rash like going through your phone, ask yourself why you are doing it. Is there a reason that you suspect them of cheating, or are you insecure about the relationship for personal reasons?
At the end of the day, most reasons for cheating come down to the suspicion of cheating. Whether you have trust issues or insecurities, they are probably rooted in the idea that your partner is cheating on you with someone else.
Unfortunately, people that have been cheated on in prior relationships are more likely to suspect a partner is cheating because of their insecurities. As a result, if you have prior experience with cheating, you need to be mindful not to take it out on your partner.
Additionally, it can be a good idea to talk about your insecurities and your past with your current partner. If you have a good relationship with them, they will understand your insecurities. They can assure you that they will put extra effort into building trust and eliminating your insecurities.
If you end up spying on your spouse, it can have negative consequences. You might think it is harmless, and you will probably get away with it, but there could be several unintended consequences.
If you do it once, you are unlikely to get caught, but if it becomes a habit, you will eventually get caught by your spouse. When this happens, it could set your relationship back, make them feel betrayed, and it could cause the relationship to end.
Final Thoughts
Is it illegal to go through your spouse’s phone? It is illegal to use their stolen messages in court, but you will not be prosecuted for a little snooping.
Nonetheless, you should avoid spying on your spouse. It is a violation of trust, and it can ruin your relationship even if no one is cheating. There are always better solutions than spying on someone you should trust over everyone else.
Lauren Cook-McKay is the Vice President of Marketing at DivorceAnswers.com. She holds a Master’s Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy (MFT) from the University of San Diego and applies her training in private practice to helping couples struggling in their marriage. She believes there is hope in all marriages and strives to provide therapy to couples that will lead them back towards a loving marriage, or an amicable divorce that brings peace and closure.
