The question of a married couple’s active sex life comes up often and can yield many different answers. The relationship's longevity, the partner's age, cultural background, and even the family dynamic can all contribute to how often couples engage in sexual activity.
So, how often should a wife please her husband sexually? There is no one correct answer, as everyone will have different sexual needs.
However, on average, a married couple is recommended to engage in some form of sexual activity once or twice a week to maintain a healthy intimate relationship.
If once or twice sounds like insufficient attention, you and your partner may have a higher sex drive than other couples. You must find what works for both of your needs and schedules to keep the passion alive and maintain an active sex life as committed partners.
Finding the Magic Number
Finding the ideal frequency to engage in sexual activity and please your husband will be an individual journey for you and your partner. Although there will not be a magic number that suits every couple, there is one that is perfect for you and your spouse.
Luckily, it does not mean you and your husband must engage in long, drawn-out sex sessions every other day. There are numerous ways to ensure both spouses are pleased sexually and do not take much time or energy from the day.
To determine how often a wife should please her husband sexually, a couple should:
Communicate openly
Track current sexual habits
Collaborate and provide feedback
Communicate Openly
One of the best ways to narrow in on the ideal amount you should be intimate with your husband is to open up the lines of communication. Your idea of the frequency of sexual encounters may be similar to your husband’s, or they may differ significantly.
Consequently, when there is open dialogue, both partners can express their needs and wants in how often they want to be intimate. Communicating with your husband can also bring other aspects to light that may hinder or alter the frequency of your sexual experiences.
For example, you may prefer early-morning sex while your partner happens to enjoy it more in the evening when you are dead tired from the day.
Unfortunately, these alternating predispositions can sometimes result in no one making the first move since the other person is not in the mood, resulting in less and less intimacy between spouses.
Let’s face it; life gets crazy busy. Before you know it, it may be weeks before you even remember that you and your husband should be taking some time to enjoy each other.
One partner may be oblivious to how much time has passed since the last time they engaged in sex, while the other is counting the minutes.
For some couples, tracking their current sexual habits can be eye-opening. For example, having a journal or calendar that shows the frequency can help a wife see if it is less often than average or a husband who believes he needs it more than what he gets presently.
By analyzing your current tracking schedule, partners can be more in-tune with their spouse’s needs if sexual encounters appear more infrequent.
Collaborate and Provide Feedback
Collaborating with your spouse can allow you to see what the other person wants, expects, and needs in a sexual relationship. Too often, couples will split with the one professing that they had no idea the other was unhappy or unsatisfied.
Coming together to make a schedule that works for both individuals is a terrific way to please everyone. Even if there are days that pass between sexual encounters, some spouses will be more patient because they know a set day or time when it will happen next.
In addition, providing feedback to your spouse and asking for it in return can present opportunities you may not have considered before.
For example, while you may think your husband always wants to spend time with you in bed during intimate activities, he may prefer quickies in the shower once a week. This change can free up precious time if you are tired or busy and still keep your husband pleased sexually.
Let’s look at what pleasing a man sexually can entail and how often you should incorporate it into your sex life.
Although some individuals may think that sexual pleasure is black and white and includes having intercourse, there is so much more to it. There are many ways to please your husband that can be separate from intercourse or build on your next sexual activity.
Some popular ways a wife can please her husband include:
Vaginal intercourse
Anal intercourse
Oral sex
Hand-to-genital activities
Mutual masturbation
Dry humping or genital contact without penetration
Using toys
Vaginal Intercourse
The standard for many married couples is vaginal intercourse. Although this type of intimacy can be pleasurable for both individuals, some women may have concerns that interfere with regular activities.
For example, facing vaginal dryness during long sessions, experiencing pain during sex with partners that sport larger than average genitalia, or other issues can keep them from enjoying vaginal sex often.
In these situations, a wife may turn to other methods to please her husband sexually that will not make her uncomfortable.
Anal Intercourse
Not everyone will be up for rear-entry playtime in the bedroom. However, if you or your partner enjoy experimentation, anal intercourse can be an excellent way to add extra excitement to your love life.
In addition, some men will find that they have a receptive erogenous zone in their rear, opening up a world of possibilities for pleasure. Remember that anytime you explore anal play, lube is mandatory, and use lots of patience; trying new things takes time, so everyone is comfortable.
Oral Sex
Almost every person enjoys some one-on-one attention at some point. Your husband is sure to be open to oral sex if you surprise him after work before he has a chance to sit down for dinner.
One of the best parts of oral sex when pleasing a man is that the entire act will not last hours and can show your husband the little extra attention they crave between regular intimate encounters. Adding just a blow job or two per month can make your husband feel like a king in his castle.
Hand-to-Genital Activities
There may be days when you are too tired to engage in long sexual encounters with your husband. However, you still want to please him and ensure you meet his needs. In these cases, you can introduce your husband to some hand-to-genital attention.
Using your hands to stroke your husband’s erection until he climaxes can be highly pleasurable for him and help you switch up the regular routine.
Some wives will resort to a quick hand job when there is no time to sneak away for a full-blown sex session. Although this can be a small addition to the day, this act can entice your husband for a more passionate encounter later when the timing is best.
Mutual Masturbation
Many husbands will take pleasure into their own hands when they feel the need. Some people gain sexual gratification from watching their spouses pleasure themselves.
If your husband is the watching type, you could introduce a mutual masturbation session that can keep him happy and add a little spark to your everyday intimate moments together.
Participating in these self-led activities can also give you ideas on what your husband prefers when you take on the task yourself later.
Dry Humping or Genital Contact Without Penetration
Some people do not need penetration to experience pleasure, especially when there is a great deal of foreplay. Couples can successfully reach climax and sexual gratification while being close to their partner without engaging in penetrative activities.
You and your husband can do this activity with or without clothing on, which can intensify your feelings of passion.
Using Toys
These days, sex toys are much more diverse than standard vibrators. A wife can please her husband in several ways by exploring some male toy options available with new technology.
Talk to your husband and experiment with different models of vibrating cock rings, perineum toys, or handheld massagers that can connect to your smartphone.
Having a healthy sex life as a married couple can be challenging to navigate. The frequency of intimate activities will fluctuate as your relationship changes and evolves through the years.
Although there will be ups and downs where your timing might not be as often as you would prefer, it is possible to turn things around with some effort.
With communication and an open mind, a wife can successfully please her husband regularly to suit both partner’s needs and wants. While this may be for some couples on average once or twice a week, it could also be more or less, depending on your unique situation.
Remember, consent is always 100% necessary in all sexual situations. If you feel pressured by your husband to perform sexual acts or he has forced you to do something against your will, this is unsafe and could potentially be assault.
If you are in a situation where you feel that sexual assault or domestic violence has occurred, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 today.
Lauren Cook-McKay is the Vice President of Marketing at DivorceAnswers.com. She holds a Master’s Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy (MFT) from the University of San Diego and applies her training in private practice to helping couples struggling in their marriage. She believes there is hope in all marriages and strives to provide therapy to couples that will lead them back towards a loving marriage, or an amicable divorce that brings peace and closure.
