How Do I Get My Wife to Sleep With Someone Else? Follow These 10 Steps.

by Lauren Cook-McKay | Last Updated: April 28, 2022
picture of a wife sleeping with another man

When the marriage grows stale, the husband quickly opts to have an affair. A situation that only happens in secret, never to be seen or heard by the wife. An affair is hard to maintain, so why not be honest about it?

See, society asserts the conventional rule that marriage only involves two people. The idea of one partner having sexual relations with another person outside of the marriage is shied upon and viciously condemned.

But when all is said and done, it’s up to the couple to figure out ways to keep the flame alive in their marriage. To make things more exciting, couples are now, more than ever, open to trying out new ideas.

One such idea is bringing in other people as sexual partners. But how do you get your wife to consent to sleeping with someone else? Here are ten steps.

1. Reinforce Your Love and Intimacy With Her

Intimacy and emotions go hand in hand. A good sexual union, therefore, only happens if your wife builds a close, strong emotional bond with you. Focus on communicating and meeting your partner’s physical and emotional needs.

Different ways to get you started on building love and intimacy with your wife include:

Building sexual chemistry is an ideal method of reinforcing love and intimacy with your wife. When you have a solid bond with your wife, it becomes easy for her to accommodate your needs, even if those needs require her to be open to being sexual with someone else.

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2. Embrace and Praise Her Naughty Side

Of the five love languages, the most common is words of affirmation. Praises, compliments, flirty teasing, and sweet words fall in this category. Praising your wife’s naughty side does wonders, especially if your partner is the shy type.

picture of a wife with a naughty side

It encourages her to explore her naughtiness further and tells her it’s ok to explore new ideas. Before you know it, sleeping with someone else, even in your presence, won’t be such an absurd idea.

Start  by telling her that:

3. Get Her to Be More Sexual When She's Alone

Yep! Solo sex is a thing.

Being more sexual alone can transform a woman’s image of herself. It gets her to connect deeper with herself and feel more confident in her body.

However, true sexual satisfaction is impossible when a woman knows little about what turns her on emotionally, mentally, and physically.

Encouraging your wife to masturbate, for example, directly affects her mood. It instantly makes her feel happy and less stressed, and she’ll sleep better.

On her quest to be more sexual with herself, ask her to:

Also, ask her to get curious about sex toys and props. She needs to use different toys like vibrating sex toys, non-vibrating toys, remote-controlled toys, handcuffs, and lube. Whatever she feels comfortable with, she can try.

When your woman knows that she needn’t feel guilty about pleasing herself, letting you or someone else pleasure her soon comes easy.

4. Encourage Her To Start Dressing Sexy Out in Public

The way you dress communicates a lot about your personality and mood. Putting on a sexy outfit communicates one of two things. The lady wants to feel noticed, or she is feeling super sexual. Sexy attire is a woman’s non-verbal emotional bid to bond with others.

picture of a wife out in public dressed sexy with her husband

Encourage your woman to test out different styles, trends, and overall dress sexy. Tell her it’s ok to express herself by how she dresses. She can put on whatever she wants, irrespective of how revealing it is, provided she’s comfortable.

She can try out sexy stuff like:

Men are excellent judges and can tell how horny a woman is going by how she dresses. The sexier she looks, the more she craves to be desired. Women use their looks to express sexual interest. Getting your wife to dress sexy lets her get the attention she seeks not only from her husband but from others too.

5. Validate Her Objections

Suppose a woman is unhappy about something; you will notice. Women communicate objections verbally or non-verbally by expressing discomfort. This is your wife; you have history. If she’s angry, you can tell.

When she expresses her discontent, avoid making ignorant responses like:

The best way to validate her objections instead is by acknowledging her feelings. You don’t have to understand what all the fuss is about. So long as you are there for her physically and emotionally, it means the world to your wife.

Validate your wife’s objections by making thoughtful responses like:

A woman may express objection out of feelings of despair, hurt, discomfort, disappointment, impatience, fear, and insecurity. How you react to her objections can either pull her closer or further away from you.

6. Explain Your Reasons and Desires

Having sex with other people doesn’t mean you no longer find your partner attractive. It’s only one of many ways to spice up the marriage. When your wife understands your reasons for wanting her to be intimate with someone else, she’ll automatically do everything or at least work towards accommodating those needs.

Men and women alike have particular fetishes. Communicate to your wife that the idea of her being with someone else turns you on. Tell her of your desires. If you also want to see other people, be open and honest.

picture of a husband explaining his sexual desires to his wife

You want your wife to sleep with someone else. Do you want it to be a one-time thing or a long-term thing? Many choose non-monogamy without fear of being judged or isolated by society in this day and age.

Ensure that your wife understands your reasons and desires. But note that despite the urge to be selfish about your needs, it’s crucial also to get her consent to engage in relations with other people outside of your marriage.

7. Identify Baby Steps

It’s super exciting to want to try out new things in marriage. But if you go from zero to a hundred real fast, there’s a high chance your wife will back out.

The thought of her sleeping with anyone other than her husband is foreign enough. It’s probably an idea that has never occurred to her. Compose yourself and let her ease into it. Most women adjust mentally and emotionally before acting out their desires.

If she can see it in her head, she can act it out in real life.

If you want your wife to sleep with someone else, take baby steps to get her there. This includes:

Read More: OMG! 25 Cheating Wife Signs You Are Not Aware Of (Yet)

8. Watch Porn Together

Society teaches us that porn is nasty. However, behind closed doors, everyone has watched porn at least once in their lives. Porn is a multi-billion-dollar industry! Those couples who dare break the norm and watch porn surprisingly share more exciting sexual experiences.

picture of a husband and wife watching porn together

Try and get your wife to watch porn with you; send her hints by choosing porn sites where husbands allow their wives to sleep with other people.

Why is it advisable to watch porn with your wife?

Watching porn together can strengthen your bond. Whether you want your wife to sleep with someone else one time or often, porn can be what brings you back together.

9. Participate in Online Swinger Forums

There are countless legit swinger forums available online. Swinger dating is becoming more popular among couples by the day. On your quest to explore sexual experiences with other people, seeking out-of-the-box connections is like opening a treasure chest. 

It may be taboo, especially if you are a married couple looking to become swingers. However, your own sexual needs and desires are your responsibility. Society should have no business dictating who to have sex with, let alone how to do it.

To be safe, choose paid swinger sites over free ones. When filling in your details, be honest about your age, gender, and personal preferences. Add high-quality and attractive photos to your profile. Chat with a few couples before setting a date. Be open and flirty to get a feel of their personality and see if you connect. Be respectful of people’s boundaries.

10. Find Out What Type She's Sexually Attracted To

Does your wife have a type? One look in the mirror, and you’ll know your wife’s type. Of course, assuming you don’t look too different from how you were when you two met.

But wait. What if her type has changed?

Good looks and chiseled muscles have little to do with the type of guy your woman finds attractive. More often than not, it has everything to do with personality traits. Depending on your wife’s desires, she may prefer a particular type of guy.

picture of an attractive man

Generally, there are seven different types of guys. They include:

Finding out what type of guy your wife is sexually attracted to is as simple as asking her. If she is a bit shy about it or not sure, there are many quizzes you could take her through to reveal the ideal kind of man she finds most attractive.

Bottom Line

With the high number of divorces filed annually, couples must find innovative ways to strengthen their union. That said, it’s not unheard of to find that some couples opt to unconventionally spice things up.

Want to get your wife to sleep with someone else? Exploring your sensuality is something every partner in a committed relationship should feel confident about. Find what works for you and run with it. Above are ten tips to help you do just that.

Lauren Cook-McKay is the Vice President of Marketing at She holds a Master’s Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy (MFT) from the University of San Diego and applies her training in private practice to helping couples struggling in their marriage. She strongly believes there is hope in all marriages and strives to provide therapy to couples that will lead them back towards a loving marriage, or an amicable divorce that brings peace and closure. Connect with Lauren on LinkedIn here.